Almost Paradise
by LilSis0401
Summary: Spencer and Ashley go on a dream vacation in Canada over summer break. The catch is it's with her family. What happens wheen everything falls appart?
1. Chapter 1

"We've shared our lives and all of what we know, But now it seems you don't know me from, The guy next door, or the next or the next. Give it back, You need to give it back. The loyalty is something that you lack. I let you in and showed you all of me, But you took it all then trashed the place, And I'm so sick of cleaning it up. Give it back, You need to give it back, The loyalty is something that you lack. Give it back." I sang as I cleaned my room. It didn't really need cleaning, there was just nothing else to do. Today was just an ordinary boring day and I didn't feel like coming out of my room because I knew that as soon as I did someone would just be expecting something from me. Just like every Saturday, in fact just like everyday since I moved here. See I used to live in Ohio, some of the best times of my life were spent there, but now I'm in L.A. But even I have to admit that this place seems a lot less bad if you have a beautiful girlfriend with you.

"Spencer!" called my mom. I rolled my eyes at her voice, well more like the tone in it. She was about to complain about Ashley I just know it. So before she can invade my room I walk down the stairs and see the fakest grin she's ever shown me.

"Hey sweetie, I have something I want to run by you, see since we are going to Canada and you guys are growing up your father and I have decided that each of you can bring one friend, ok well your brothers brought it up again and we said yes, so I just wanted to know who you wanted to bring." Paula finished. So that's it, she knows that I'm going to pick Ashley and she knows that my dad is going to allow it. I play with her head and pretend that I'm actually thinking about it.

"Uh Ashley." I say rather slowly just because it's fun to watch my mom cringe. That and I love to hear her name, even if I'm the one saying it. Mom just sighs and walks away, see I told you she knows she can't do anything about it. I smile and go back to my room to call Ashley and tell her that she's coming.

"Hello," she answers groggily from the phone. I forgot Ashley doesn't wake up until twelve and it's only ten.

"Good morning beautiful." I smile as if she's right here in front of me. As if she is standing right mere inches away from me.

"Ugh, Spence I love you, but if you wake me up this early again, I may just have to kill you." She says from the other end.

"Well what if I offered you a trip to a sunny island with sand and rocks, and calm relaxing waves, a nice boat ride, and lots and lots of romance." Spencer said with a smile, she could hear Ashley sigh on the other end and could practically see her smiling ear to ear.

"Mmmmm that sounds really nice Spence," She tells me. I love when she does this, makes me feel like I'm the best person in the world, makes me feel so amazingly important. "But I'm guessing we won't be alone." Ashley replies knowing my family way to well.

"Well no but It's a really big island Ash, and maybe we can still get time alone together, in fact I know we can because there are different houses on the island and I'd really love if you would go with me." I whine. I use the voice I know she can't resist just to make her decision easier.

"Fine." She says after an exaggerated sigh. I smile like I just won the lottery at her answer.

"Ok well you should come over and help me pack." I tell her excitedly.

"What when are we going?" Ashley asked shocked that I'm already packing.

"Tuesday." I reply like it's nothing.

"What Spence, that's like three days away!" She yells over the phone. I wince knowing how frantic she can get under pressure.

"Ash don't worry about it ok, I'll help you pick out things to wear and stuff." I tell her trying to calm her down. I just listen to her sigh and her next sentence which sends chills throughout my body, the good kind though.

"You're lucky I love you Spencer Carlin." I smile and we hang up the phone so she can get ready and come over.

XXX

I hang up the phone and smile to myself uncontrollably. How is it she can always do this to me? Make me smile like an idiot. Well it doesn't matter because right now I need to get ready to see that girl that does amazing things to me. I'm shuffling through my clothes unsure of what it is I want to wear.

"Hey Ashley, where are you headed?" Kyla asks as I speed down the steps.

"Spencer's." Is all I say before rushing out the door. I turn the car on and take in the beauty that is early morning L.A. Or at least early for me. The cool breeze and bright shining sun are very soothing today. I can't seem to put my finger on it but something is different today, something great is going to happen, I know it. I'm still taking in the great view as I stop at a red light. My fingers unconsciously tap to the guitar of Lifehouse's Trying. I smile unsure of the reason, just smiling. Maybe at the beauty placed in front of me. Maybe at how lucky I am right now or maybe at how perfect life is at this particular moment. I finally pull up into Spencer's driveway and my smile just gets wider knowing that I'm about to see the girl of my dreams. I walk up on the porch and knock three times and Glen opens the door.

"What do you want?" He asked with a sense of hostility.

"Spence called me to come over now get out of my way." I tell him. Ok not the best guest in the world but he was an ass what am I supposed to say. I push my way past him and run up the steps to knock on her door. She comes to the door with nothing but a towel on and I'm already getting wet. She smiles at me brightly.

"Hey." she says, me still staring at her with no words. She pulls me in her room and locks the door behind her still looking at me. Still looking at how speechless I am. She starts to blush and I guess I've made her uncomfortable so I try to think of something to say.

"Hi." was all I could manage. She smiles and laughs, well at least someone is enjoying my lame comment.

"So…" She says. Why are things so awkward right now? Oh right I'm still staring at her breasts.

"Uh um so you uh wanted help packing?" I ask. Spencer smiles at I'm guessing my face and steps closer to me taking just one of my wrists. I'm just sitting on her bed confused at her sudden quietness. She starts to move my limp hand again and its heading towards the bottom of her towel. I think she's smiling but I don't know because I'm not looking at her face anymore. She lets go of my hand and I slide my fingers up her thigh and can feel the goose bumps of anticipation form on her body and then her shiver. I yank my hand away as someone knocks on the door. Spencer walks over to it ready to unlock it.

"Spencer, your mom and I are going out for a couple minutes." Arthur calls through the door I sigh of relief and get up off the bed spinning Spencer around.

"Ok dad." She yells back her eyes never once leaving mine. I lower my head and start to kiss and nibble her neck. She giggles a little and pushes me away.

"There is a reason you're hear remember?" she asks me. I just sigh and nod.

"You're such a tease." I mumble to her with a smile. She smiles and takes off her towel right in front of me and I swear it took every bit of me not to jump her right then and there.

"Just let me change." She said with a smile. There is no way I'm letting her get away with that. I chase after her into the closet and she squeals with laughter as I throw her on the bed. I lay on top of her and brush hair out of her face. Now we're both smiling like idiots.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: i don't own south of nowhere

**Ok so I personally love this part of my story, well i love all the parts but this is i think my best writing lol its also the very first time ive written in first person so yea! i hope you guys love it as much as i do.**

XXX

Ashley laid on top of me kissing every piece of flesh she could. To say I was wet was an understatement, I was drenched, soaked even. She made everything feel so sensual. Her lips moved back to mine and gave me a few amazing Ashley kisses before hopping off the bed. My eyes go wide and I know what she's doing. But I am not going to cave not at all. I'm a fighter and if she wants to play that game then consider it being played. I get off the bed as well and head to my closet without a word, I think she thinks I'm mad at her now from the look she gave me. Before I even look at my clothes I crash back in her arms pulling her back to the bed knowing I lost but also not really caring either. She just makes me so extremely happy I can't control myself around her. I feel her smile into the kiss and can hear her chuckle her low seductive chuckle that just makes me crazy. I throw her shirt off and it almost knocks over my lamp. I don't care I hardly even notice because I can feel Ashley grinding against me and I try my hardest to get her pants off as quickly as possible. She actually growls at another knock at the door.

"I'm busy!" I yell with little air. You can thank Ashley's fingers on me for that. They're tracing circles allover my body.

"Okay Spence but I just came to tell you we're going to leave tomorrow so you gotta hurry." Ashley shot up and shrieked.

"What!" I smiled at how cute she was when she freaked out.

"Ash, its ok, It's going to be fine." I tell her stroking her hair slowly calming her down. Her breathing began to slow down and she looked at me intently. The kind of look that always made me blush. Her head lowered once more and kissed me sweetly. I felt her shift and then felt extremely cold as she sat up undoing her bra. I smile as she makes her way back down to my face. This feeling is great, the one where you just get butterflies all over not just in the pit of your stomach. Her fingers go back to drawing circles everywhere she can reach. I finally feel around for her underwear and rip them off as fast as I can. I feel her fingers slide further up my leg and finally they reach their destination. I moan as I feel them inside me and feel them thrusting.

"You're so wet." Ashley says with a smile looking me dead in the eyes. I think I blushed but I didn't care since she started kissing me again.

"Ashley," I breathe,

"I…almost." I manage to say before I let out one loud moan. She's smiling widely and I can't help but smile back. She lays next to me and I think I was about to fall asleep from listening to her breathing. But she must have noticed because she said,

"We should start packing." I nodded with a smile. Her voice always seemed so new to me no matter how many times I've heard her talk.

"I love you." I say without reason. I just needed to say it like it was a big secret that I needed to get off my chest. She smiles back at me her eyes sparkling.

"I love you too." she whispers back. I don't want to get up, I refuse to get up just because she's still in my bed. Just because she's still looking at me, just because her smile is still showing brightly. Just because. I say I love you one last time before she gets off my bed. I follow only because I know that there was no reason to stay in bed anymore she wasn't by my side breathing in my ear, saying sweet nothings into my ear, like she did every night I was with her before I fell asleep in her arms. I watch her smile as I get out of bed.

"Ashley?" I call.

"Yes?" She asks me. "Will you love me forever?" I ask. I'd like to say I know the answer but truly I don't. She walks over to me with a sweet smile on her face.

"Spencer I will love you forever and for always, you're the only one for me." Ashley says simply. I can't help but smile, I mean how can I not? I rush over to her and peck her lips. "You're the only one for me too Ashley." I tell her. She smiles and we slowly get dressed and start to pack.

XXX

I'm folding her clothes as she's picking them out and just gazing upon the beauty that I can call mine. I smile and can't wait for my next chance to touch her. I feel like I'm going crazy without touching her. I get lost in my thoughts and continue folding when I hear her angelic voice in my ear. "

Ash you ok?" She asks me. I look up at her and smile.

"Fine." I tell her. God those blue eyes get me every time. I can try as hard as I can but I won't be able to look away. She smiles back all the worry erased from her face and kisses me for a short while. Oh Spencer Carlin if only you knew what you do to me. A part of me is terrified with the trip that is unavoidable but another part is so extremely excited for tomorrow to come. I went back to my duty of folding clothes. I heard her parents car pull into the driveway and my heart stops because I know heavens over and by Spencer's long sigh I can tell that she knows it too. She walked over to her door and unlocked it. I shoot her a smile and look down at the duffle bag full of her clothes and realize this is more than just a weeks worth of clothes.

"Hey Spence, how long are we staying there?" I asked surprised that I didn't know. That just goes to prove that I'd go anywhere with Spencer no matter how much I know about it. Just say her name and I'm there.

The entire summer." Spencer replied. I smile. A summer of nothing but Spencer wait scratch that a summer of nothing but Spencer and her family….what am I doing? I listen to footsteps come up the stairs and watch the door open slowly.

"Spencer you packed?" I hear her mom ask. She looks at me and I can already feel the hatred.

"Oh hello Ashley." She said coldly.

"Hi." I squeak. Spencer emerges from her closet and tells her mom that she's almost done.

'could you let down your hair be transparent for awhile, just a little while, to see if your human after all, honesty is a hard attribute to find when we all want to seem like we've got it all figured out well let me be the first to say that I don't have a clue I don't have all the answers ain't gonna pretend like I do..' rang my phone. "Hello?"

"Hey Ashley, I need your help." Kyla said on the other end.

"Oh god what Kyla?" I reply.

"Ok so Aiden is just completely getting to me lately and I just can't stand it," my sister rambles on. I zone out as Spencer and her mom stare at me.

"Hey Kyla can I call you back?" I ask I listen to Kyla complain but hang up on her.

"Sorry." I say flipping my phone shut. Paula just sent me another cold smile and walked out of the room.

"Hey Spence, when do you think she'll stop hating me?" I ask quietly. Yes this is my vulnerable side. The side of me that only Spencer herself gets to see and no one else.

"Probably until she never see's me with you again." Spencer replies. All the insecurities come rushing at me. Why is she with me? What do I have to give her beside's heartache? Why does she love me the way she does? I hardly notice that she's sitting in my lap giving me worried eyes.

"That's never going to happen you know that right?" She says with that same worried face. I don't know. She shifts so her back is to me and takes my hands so that they wrap around her. "How can you not know," She says.

Did she read my thoughts or did I say that out loud?

"This is how it's supposed to be Ashley, just you and me." She finishes. I smile, she knows just what to say to scare those insecurities away.

"You think this trip is a good idea?" I ask her. I feel her sigh and snuggle closer into me.

"I think it's a great idea." She says. I kiss her cheek and and rest my chin on her shoulder.

"Aw if that's not true love I don't know what is." I hear from the doorway. Spencer nearly jumps off me but stays put realizing it's Chelsea.

"Don't ever do that again." Spencer says with a smile. I pull her as close as she was before and I watch Chelsea smile as she and Clay walk into the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: i don't own south of nowhere

XXX

Clay and Chelsea walk in my room, Clay sitting at my desk and Chelsea next to me and Ashley. She smiles at us and I blush. I do that a lot.

"So you two going to be able to handle this vacation?" Chelsea asks. I feel Ashley hold me tighter and I just melt right into her.

"I think we'll manage." Ashley says leaving me speechless. She whispered it right in my ear sending chills throughout my body, not intentionally, she just has that effect on me.

"Spence you ok? You look really tired." Clay asks. I nod and smile. I feel Ashley smile too, she lets her thumb roam wherever it can reach and I close my eyes a little bit longer than I usually do which was a bad move because it only makes me sleepier. I hear Ashley whisper in my ear.

"It's ok." indicating that I'm aloud to fall asleep in her arms. I smile and slowly drift off as I listen to their voices talk about what they want to do when they get to Canada. When I wake up I'm under the covers with a small puddle of drool on my pillow. Ashley walks out of my closet with some more clothes and places them into my bags. I look around and sure enough Clay and Chelsea are whispering to each other with smiles on their faces. I think for a bit and stay in bed. I want to get up so badly but I also just want Ashley to crawl into bed with me. Wait my doors open what happened when I was asleep?

"Ashley?" I call out . She comes over to my bedside and smiles.

"Hey beautiful." She whispers brushing hair out of my face. I smile at her and rest my arm around her neck. Her smile grows as I do so and she kisses me.

"My doors open." I whisper.

"Yeah your parents needed a few more things so they went out again." she explained.

"Ashley, can I wake up to you forever?" I ask still half asleep. I see her smile and it looks as if she's about to cry.

"Yes." She answers me. Chelsea looks like she's going to cry too when I look over at her and Clay. I guess that question was a really good one.

"We still need to go to your house and pack." I say sitting up.

"Hey don't worry about it, you're tired just sleep." Ashley said stroking my hair. I shake my head and say no.

"You need to pack and I said I'd help." I whine. She smiles and kisses my forehead.

"You don't have to." She says quietly.

"But I want to." I reply. I forget that Clay and Chelsea are even there until Clay speaks up.

"Hey you guys how about we go out to lunch? It's like one-thirty and I'm starved." I look at Ashley who agrees and Clay walks Chelsea out of my room so I can fix myself up. Ashley strides over to my stereo and hits play knowing exactly what C.D. I had in it. It's the C.D. she made me of her singing all my favorite songs with her acoustic guitar she made me sign.

"_Forgive me if I seem forward, But I've never been in front of anything like you, It's the last place I ever thought I'd be when I woke up this morning, Is it true that you are always this breathtaking?, And you're smart and you're willing, And my god this is killing me,_" I hear as it plays. I swear her voice is angelic. She has to be an angel sent down just for me.

"_Tell me all the things you never said, We can lie here and talk for hours in my bed, I don't have anything to hide, I don't have anything everything is not for certain, I don't have anything to hide, I don't have anything everything is not for certain,_" the song continues. I smile as I watch her play with one of my stuffed animals smiling at it. I finish brushing my hair and walk over to her crawling my way on top of her and just lay there enjoying her voice on the C.D. and the beating of her heart.

_You started to see right through me, And I'm loving every minute of it, Its like I'm born again every time I breath in so, If you're curious my favorite color's blue, And I like to sing in the shower, If you like I'll sing to you,_

XXX

I watch as Clay and Chelsea feed each other. I have to admit they're kinda cute together, nowhere near as cute as Spencer and I but still cute. I feel Spencer scoot closer to meet and rest her head on my shoulder. I take in this moment like it's my last. I feel a small breeze push past us and its like everything has just slowed down. It's days like these that I feel that this place isn't that bad. It's days like these that make me feel like I'm worth someone's time, like I am important. I love these days.

"So Spencer are you going to take Ash on some joy ride?" Chelsea asks. I must have zoned out on them because I think I missed something.

"What?" I ask looking from Chelsea to Spencer.

"Where you even listening?" Spencer asks me.

"Are you kidding she got lost as soon as you laid your head on her." Clay says. I smile shyly knowing it's true and I lay my head on Spencer's.

"I might." Spencer says. I take her hand from under the table and hold it tight closing my eyes I want to fall asleep but I try my hardest not to. I see Chelsea smile at our innocence and then I lift my head and kiss Spencer's head standing up to throw away our wrappers and crumbs. I walked back to the table and looked over at a middle-aged couple staring at me and Spencer. I shoot my devil smile at Spencer and she just furrows her eyebrows as I walk closer to her. I straddle her and kiss her long and hard and can feel their disgusted eyes piercing at me and Spencer. I chuckle a little but am surprised to feel Spencer's tongue run across my bottom lip and enter my mouth and play time is over. I moan and lean forward closer to her neither of us remembering that we're out in public neither of us caring. I moan even louder as she nibbles at my bottom lip and pulls apart to catch her breath and I'm nowhere near done but I hear a group of boys woot and holler at a table next to us so I get off her and listen to their disappointed groans.

Sorry guys shows over," I say to them and mumble to myself as we walk past them, "Or at least in public it is." and they must have heard me cause their woots started up again and one of them screamed,

"Send me a video!" the four of us laughed and walked to Clay's car all of us holding the ones we love hand's. Once we reach the car me and Spencer fight about who gets in the car first and finally she gets in letting me win. But I knew I was gonna win from the beginning.

"Hey Clay can you drop us off at Ashley's I am helping her pack." Spencer says. Clay nods and the car ride is silent for most of the ride but I'm still curious about this vacation house or houses or whatever.

"Hey so like how many houses do you guys own up there?" I ask.

"Um about five I think, it's a large island so we spread out the houses and yeah it's great though." Clay responds. I guess that's good maybe me and Spence can get our own house and it would be like we live together. Wow that would be amazing! To be able to see her everyday and wake up to her knowing I can show my love and not have to hide it. I closed my eyes at the thought of a future with Spencer. I hear a familiar song on the radio and can't help but smile.

"And I'd give up forever to touch you 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't want to go home right now." I sing into Spencer's ear this is another song on the C.D. I made for her. She loves the acoustic guitar and so I made a C.D. when I went to visit my dad a couple months ago. I thought it was corny but she loved it. It was like I just gave her the world. I continue to sing in her ear which is more of a whisper because I don't want to hurt her ears.

"And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life 'Cause sooner or later it's over I just don't want to miss you tonight And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: i don't own south of nowhere

XXX

Ashley's whispering in my ear the song playing on the radio and its so soothing I could just melt this day has been the most relaxing day in my life. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and flip it open.

'I love you.' it reads and I smile and look over at Ashley and kiss her cheek texting

'I love you too' as I turn away. She smiles and mimics me by kissing my cheek. My phone vibrates again and this time it says,

'How'd I get so lucky.' I look at her but she's turned away from me so I text back saying,

'reading my mind now?' she chuckles and of course it's that low one that I can't resist. I feel her hand rest on my knee and I smile as she strokes my leg with her fingers. I'm smiling widely and let her have her fun until I feel her hand go up my skirt and whispers her disappointment that I kept my underwear on. She tells me I'm going to pay for that and I'm thinking that it wont come until later but no she can't wait. I feel her hand go back up my skirt and her finger run up and down my clit and she's doing it oh so slow so I have to keep myself from squeaking every time she does it.

My body surged forward as her finger runs over my clit once more and I look at her with a pathetic face but it only makes her go farther. She leans her head down and is sucking and nipping at my neck and I now know what my punishment is exactly. Not being able to just let loose and moan nope because if I do that I suffer complete embarrassment.

I feel the car come to a stop and see we've finally reached Ashley's house. I pretty much throw her off me so I can rush out of the car and get in her house with Ashley laughing but not far behind. When she does catch up she squeezes my butt and I moan smiling and biting my bottom lip I chase after her into her house.

I slam her door and run up to her room her giggling. locking her door and she blasts her stereo so Kyla won't hear I push her on the bed and take off my underwear first because of how badly I wished they were off before. I get on top of Ashley and suck on her neck hearing moans escape from her lips. I take off her jeans and underwear first so I can make her feel as good as she made me this morning. I feel her body arch from my fingers in her and I start to thrust them and listen to her moans, I don't know how but hearing her moan turns me on even more. I can feel that she's about to cum, her bodies tense and her breathing is labored and as payback from the car ride I pull my fingers back and watch her eyes go wide. "Spencer please don't stop." She breathes. Is it wrong of me to think that she looks so amazingly cute right now? I smile and cave and finish her off. As she moans ever so loudly I pull my fingers back out of her and smile at her.

And for some odd reason I don't feel like I'm done with her, I don't feel like I did everything I could have done to make her scream and that's when it hits me. I look her dead in the eyes and she's smiling at me breathing hard, I smile back and she clearly read my mind because her smile grew wider. "Not yet Spence I'm not ready, just yet." Ashley says her breath still labored. I pouted a little until she flipped me over and showed me what was on her dirty mind. I giggled innocently as I watched her face come closer to mine and she kissed me gently as she slid to fingers into me. "I must really turn you on." She says between kisses no doubt referring to how wet she made me yet again.

But she has no right to say anything because she was worse than me I just didn't say anything about it to her, oh but next time, next time I most certainly will.

XXX

God what is that annoying beeping! It's been going off since the middle of last night! Ahhhhh I can't take it any more. I flip onto my stomach and use my pillow as earplugs as I groan loudly. I hear that flippin beep again and throw my pillow on the floor. I finally try and stand up surprised that my legs still feel like jell-o. I smile remembering yesterday. I still can't get over how she made me feel last night It was great. I pull on a large t-shirt to cover myself and search for the annoying noise. I find it and it's Spencer's phone.

SHIT!

We have to go I don't even know what time we're leaving to go to the airport! Oh my god.

"Spencer!" I say frantically shaking Spencer trying to wake her. I hear her groan and try to flip over but I force her on her back.

"Spence! We have to go it's morning!" I practically yell. Spencer shot up and looked at my clock that read 11:47

"Shit!" She yells throwing on her clothes from yesterday. I look around for mine and see that my duffle bag has close to nothing in it so I just throw in a bunch of clothes not knowing if I had enough or not but I don't care. We just need to get to her house now. I say goodbye to Kyla and we rush out the door. I look over at her and her tossled hair as she leans against the window of my car no doubt falling asleep. Probably because I have 100 years playing by five for fighting, its like her lullaby. I can't help but smile at her. The way the sun is hitting her face, the way the wind coming in from my cracked window just slightly moves her hair. God she is so beautiful, I don't ever want to leave this moment. No wait scratch that I would but only for a better moment. I see her stir out of the corner of my eye and look over at her.

"Are we there yet?" she asks. Perfect timing, I just pulled in her driveway.

"Yup." I say putting the car in park. She stretches out and steps out of the car as do I. I see Clay come out of the front door with two boxes.

"Hey you guys are lucky, mom went straight to bed when her and dad got home so she thinks that you and Ashley went out this morning." Clay explained as he packed the large S.U.V. Spencer sighed and we walked into the house with smiles on our face.

"Hey dad." Spencer says hugging her father.

"Hey Spence, how about you two ride with me? Glenn is taking his new girlfriend's car and Clay is taking Chelsea's so I'm going to be pretty lonely." Her father said.

"What about mom?" She asks. Arthur just smiles and tells her that mo- I mean Paula is taking a different car as well. Spencer smiles and agrees so I go to my car to place my duffle bag in the large S.U.V. By the time we actually hit the road it's two and Spence and I are starving. Arthur pulls out his Nextel and tells Glen and Clay to stop at the McDonalds coming up on there left. I kind of felt like a secret agent. We ordered food to eat and the whole time Paula was giving the death glare, I mean seriously if looks could kill Spencer would be sobbing over my limp body right now. Or at least I think she would. I mean of course she would, why wouldn't she. Yeah she'd cry over my death right? Right? Ok now is not the time for my insecurities. Snap out of it Davies. I look over at Spencer who is scarfing down her food and smile. I forgot we missed dinner last night. I take another bite of my Bigmac and we're soon on our way.

I think I'm going to die in this car. I am watching freaking Happy Feet. Don't get me wrong it's a great movie, THE FIRST TIME! Spence is making me watch it for a third time and like I said before I THINK I'M GOING TO DIE IN THIS CAR! It was bad enough when I found out that they DRIVE all the way there but now I have these images of dancing freaking penguins in front of me. I look over at Spencer with a pathetic face and she caves letting me watch MY movie! Underworld, hell yea.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: i don't own south of nowhere

ello lol well to my fans at the-n im sorry i had 2 make u come to this site just to read a lil of my story but like i said i knew it wouldn't post on there so i give u my sincerest apologies!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: dont own south

short post i know im sorry but ive been crazy busy.

XXX

I'm sitting in the car watching Ashley's favorite movie Underworld going crazy not being able to touch her. I feel the car come to a stop and look out the window. We're at a gas station. Yes!

"Ash, you have to pee?" I ask her. She looks out the window and gets what I mean. She looks at me and smiles.

"Why yes I do, do you?" she asks in return. I smile and we both get out of the car heading straight for the glass doors. As soon as I close the bathroom stall she pushes me into a wall and kisses me hard.

"Ashley…" I whisper she bites my bottom lip and then sucks a little causing me to moan. She pulls away from me and smiles at me.

"I thought I was going crazy without being able to touch you." She says.

"Me too." I reply before I attack her lips again. Her hand slides down from my cheek to my waist and her other hand is tangled in my hair.

"Spencer, Ashley we're hitting the road again." Chelsea yells from the door. We both sigh and fix ourselves up before heading out back to the car. I think it's been an hour and Ashley hasn't said anything to me. I turn to her and she's just looking out the window clearly deep in thought.

"Ashley you ok?" I ask placing my hand on her knee. She looks down at it and smiles.

"Yea, I'm fine." I return my gaze back to the front and see my dad smiling. Weird….Anyways I really want to listen to Ashley's C.D. but I don't know if my dad would be able to find out if we're dating by that. You know what, I don't care.

"Hey dad can you put this in?" I ask holding out the C.D. Ashley looks at it and smiles.

"Yeah of course honey. Is there a certain song you want?" He asks me. I think for a second.

"Yea number five." I say. Ashley's version of Secondhand Serenade's It's Not Over rings throughout the car and I'm instantly ready to fall asleep. In fact I can feel my eye lids start to droop but I really want to stay up and enjoy the car ride. I reach for the bag of goodies my dad bought at the gas station and pull out a monster I know is for me. I'm the only one in the family that likes them. And of course Ashley tries to take it away knowing the true effect that it has on me.

"Spencer give it now or I will not talk to you the rest of the car ride." She threatens. Oh Shit she looks serious….ugh.

"Fine." I say taking one last large sip and handing it to her. She smiles at my defeat and puts it in the cup holder next to her. I huff and fold my arms giving her my best pout face. She only smiles and looks back out her window. It's been about a half hour and she's still looking out that dang window. What could she possibly be so interested in outside? God did I do something wrong. I just want one loving glance. A squeezed hand anything to tell me I didn't do anything wrong. I try to get her attention by placing my hand on her knee, but she only pushes it off. What did I do? I have to ask her! She's being so rude. Whatever I'll just ignore it, ignore her, then we'll see what she does. I put in my head phones and blast my music.

Storming through the party like my name was El Niño  
When I'm hanging out drinking in the back of an El Camino  
As a kid, I was a skid and no one knew me by name.  
I trashed my own house party cause nobody came.  
I know I'm not the one you thought you knew back in high school  
Never going, never showing up when we had to.  
attention that we crave don't tell us to behave,  
I'm sick of always hearing act your age.  
I don't want to waste my time  
become another casualty of society.

I'll never fall in line  
Become another victim of your conformity  
And back down.  
Because you don't  
Know us at all we laugh when old people fall.  
But what would you expect with a conscience so small.  
Heavy metal and mullets it's how we were raised.  
Maiden and Priest were the gods that we praised  
Cause we like having fun at other peoples expense and,  
Cutting people down is just a minor offense then,

It's none of your concern, I guess I'll never learn.  
I'm sick of being told to wait my turn.  
I don't want to waste my time  
become another casualty of society.  
I'll never fall in line  
Become another victim of your conformity  
And back down.  
Don't count on me, to let you know when.  
Don't count on me, I'll do it again.  
Don't count on me, it's the point you're missing.

Don't count on me, cause I'm not listening.  
Well I'm a no goodnick lower middle class brat,  
Back packed and I don't give a Shit about nothing.  
You be standing on the corner talking all that kufuffin.  
But you don't make sense from all the gas you be huffing.  
Cause if the egg don't stain you'll be ringing off the hook,  
You're on the hit list wanted in the telephone book.  
I like songs with distortion, to drink in proportion.  
The doctor said my mom should have had an abortion.  
I don't want to waste my time

become another casualty of society.  
I'll never fall in line  
Become another victim of your conformity  
And back down.  
Waste my time with them  
Casualty of society.  
Waste my time again,  
Victim of your conformity  
And back down.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: dont own south

God could she get any harder to resist. I hope she doesn't think I'm mad at her, I just can't look at her without wanting to kiss her or touch her or anything. Oh no Spence, don't do that. I remove her hand from my knee still not looking at her, just hoping she understands. I hear her puff and shove her headphone's in her ear. Uh-oh, I think she's mad at me. Oh no she's listening to her angry song, god what did I do. I turn to her and watch her face soften. I know she see's me looking. I take one of her ear buds out and stick it in my ear. She glares at me and I take it back out and look down at the floor of the car. She puts her headphone back in and looks away from me. I sigh and take out my phone.

'Spence, you ok?' Spencer looked down at her phone confused.

'Yea but your ignoring me.' She said, she wanted to be mean but it was near impossible with me, I knew that.

'No, Spence, I just can't look at you, you'll tempt me.' Spencer looked over at me and saw I was looking right back at her with sad eyes.

'What do you mean?' I smiled at her naïve behavior and texted her back.

'Spence, I can't look at you without wanting to kiss you or touch you, and if I do that then your dad will see and, you're not ready for that yet.' Spencer read the very long text.

'Maybe I am…' Spencer replied. I looked at Spencer in disbelief.

"Really?" I asked out loud. Spencer nodded with a smile and it took everything in my body to not kiss her.

"Hey dad, I uh, have something I want to tell you." Spencer said.

"Wait right now?" I asked shocked. Spencer nodded again.

"What is it honey?" Arthur asked from the front.

"Just promise me first that you won't crash the car." Spencer said as a joke.

"Spencer, there is only one thing that make me crash and that's if you're about to say your pregnant." Arthur said.

"Well then no worries," Spencer said. She let out a sigh and went on. "Um dad, Ashley and I are uh, well we're kind of um sort of d-dating." I smiled brightly and looked over at her father.

"That's great, as long as you two are happy." Spencer smiled and I laughed, it was a nervous habit.

"Really? I mean you don't hate me?" Spencer asked in disbelief. She was so cute when she was surprised.

"Honey, I told you I love you no matter what." Arthur told her with a caring smile. Spencer started to cry and I knew she was happy, completely and truly happy. I pull her close and she lays her head on my shoulder. I watch Mr. C look at us through the rear view mirror and smile. God he is the coolest dad on this planet. I kiss the top of her head, so happy I can do that with no worries.

"Now I know you two will want some alone time and I know your mom is going to try and butt in so I'll do my best to keep her away." Arthur said and now I'm about to cry.

"Mr. C you have got to be the coolest dad." I say with a smile. He chuckles and looks at us expectantly.

"What no celebratory kiss? I thought with you two being in love and all there would be at least a small gesture of happiness." I can tell he's joking but Spencer is blushing madly.

"Spence, he's kidding." I tell her but she's still blushing. She looks up at me and I give her a wide grin before she surprises me with a peck on the lips.

"That's better, Spence, just because I'm your dad doesn't mean you have to hide from me, you two can kiss in front of me it won't bother me. Your mom is a different story though." Arthur said and we both laughed. I seriously think I'm heading towards paradise with the love of my life right here next to me, by my side, smiling crazily, and happier than ever. This vacation will be great, I can feel it.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: dont own south

Ok so it's been three days and I'm surprised that Ashley hasn't gone nuts with how much time she has spent with my family. We stayed at some of the worst hotels on the way and we each got our own rooms with our guests, I have to remember to thank my dad for letting Ashley and I to stay in the same room. Anyways we are now at the docks where we have to take the boat the rest of the way and I can feel Ashley tensing up as she just walks near the water.

"Ash, you ok?" I ask her. She gives me a weak smile and looks back at the water then at my brothers who were loading one of our boats with ease.

"Spence, I think it's time to admit, I've never been on a boat before." Ashley said gripping on to my arm tightly. I slowly guide her on the creaking dock very slowly and the closer we get the tenser she gets.

"Come on get your butts down here!" Glen yelled annoyed at Ashley's slow movements.

"Stop being chicken!" He yelled. Ashley stopped in her tracks and gave him the death glare. She let go of my arm and boldly walked to the boat hiding her fear from Glen.

"Shut up." She said to him when she reached the boat.

"Here let me go in first so I can help you." I tell her stepping in the boat. She waits and I hold my hand out for her to take so she can climb in. She squealed when the boat sank back from her weight and jumped in falling on her way down.

"Are you ok?" I ask lifting her up.

"Yea I'm good." She said. I watch her gaze drift over to the other end of the dock to where Paula was staring at us. I just roll my eyes and walk to the front of the boat laying down.

"Hey Ash, is the suntan lotion back there?" I ask. She looks around and finds it.

"Yeah I got it." She walks it up to me and then squeals again when she see's a snake in the water.

"Ashley, it's just a water snake." I say. She shoots me a 'you have got to be kidding look' and sits across from me.

"Hey girls you want some music?" Arthur asked as he stepped in the boat causing it to rock heavily.. Ashley's eyes went wide and she gripped the bottom of the seat tight.

"Please Mr. C." Ashley said. He turned the radio on and Maneater came on by Nelly Furtado. A smile grew on her face.

"Spence we should dance!" She said enthusiastically.

"Um yea with my mom giving us death glares?" I ask her.

"Hey Clay come here!" she yells.

"What is it Ashley?" He asks.

"You and Chelsea need to start dancing so that me and Spence can without Paula trying to kill us." Ashley said. Clay smiled and agreed to do it. Maneater had ended and Ashley was a little upset because that was one of her favorite songs. Then Sean Paul came on with Give it up to me. It was so funny watching Clay dance with Chelsea he was always so afraid that he wasn't good. It was a complete different story with me and Ashley though. We were both confident and we both were always trying to make the other work harder. Glen smiled and started to dance with his girl on the opposite boat. Ashley was starting to act like we were at a secluded club and I had to pull away a little to remind her, my mom was still watching.

"Ok you guys dance fest is over." Arthur said walking up to the boat. Clay and Chelsea road with Ashley, Arthur and I while Paula and Glen and his girlfriend are riding in the other boat. Which reminds me, I haven't gotten her name yet. Well hopefully she's better than his other girlfriends. I mean she has to be better than Madison, no one can beat her in the bitch awards, well except for Paula. Did I just think that? Maybe Ashley is rubbing off on me a little too much. We start to drive off and Ashley already has my hand in a death grip. I just don't have the heart to tell her that the boat ride is about a half hour to an hour.

XXX

Oh my god oh my god oh my god. I am NEVER getting on this boat EVER again! I hold onto Spencer's hand tightly and I'm sure the blood has stopped flowing in it but she doesn't seem to care. God I love her. But I have to let go so she can get the feeling back in her hand.

"Ahhhhh!" Oh my god I hate waves! They're too big! I am now latched onto Spencer completely and she's just running her hand up and down my back calming me quickly. God I LOVE this girl!

"Spencer, if I asked you to marry me would you say yes?" I whisper in her ear. She smiles at me and I think I got my answer so I smile back.

"Why is there something you want to ask me?" She asks. I look at the bottom of the boat feeling bad I got her hopes up but then again it was just a question.

"No," I say. "But I mean yes, just not yet?" I add a little flustered. She just smiles again and rest's her head on my shoulder and the waves are completely forgotten. Ok they're almost forgotten, I'm still watching them, if I don't they'll try and tip the boat I know it! I'm watching you waves, and oh let me warn you I will not forget this, oh no you will pay!

"AH!" I scream as I feel the boat go up in the air and slam down.

"Ash you should go sit in the back, its not as bad there." Spencer tells me. I shake my head no as I'm still snuggled up against her.

"Then I wouldn't have an excuse to hold you this tight." I say my voice squeaky.

"Ash, you don't need an excuse to hold me this tight, you can any time you want." She tells me, I smile and kiss her gently. I feel the boat slow down and ask if we're there yet.

"Nope, we're just in a no wake zone." Arthur explains. I nod and listen to the music and look around at my surroundings and see so many houses that are lined up against the water its so peaceful here I can't wait to see more. I watch three kids jump off a dock and plunge into the water having the times of there lives. I then see their parents holding each other, they almost seem to have fallen in love again. This place is like heaven on earth I swear everyone looks so peaceful here and happy, if only my parents had a place like this.

"Well how much longer till we get there?" I ask looking from him to Spencer. Spencer looks down and I figure out why.

"About a half hour." I jump up at that.

"What!" I see Spencer look down with a small smile playing on her face. I sit back down but on the opposite end of her so I'm not near her. I'm not really that mad at her but I just want her to think I am, this way she'll want to make up for it later if you catch my drift. When I do look up at her she looks confused and hurt and a little ashamed, a look that makes her so hard to not be next to. So, whipped me goes next to her and sits in between her legs, her very long, amazing legs. Oh no not yet, maybe when we get situated Ashley but not now. I feel her grasp me tighter and take a deep breath. I'm so glad that her dad knows I don't know how I would be dealing if he didn't.

"I love you." I say to her with a content smile. She smiles back and says,

"I love you too." I can feel us speed up and she squeezes me a little to let me know that she has me. I watch Paula speed past us and then she disappears. I start to fall asleep in her arms and when she notices she kisses the top of my head. I smile and whisper something just before I fall asleep not really thinking of what I was saying since I was so out of it, and the music was just so relaxing I don't think I could even try to stay awake. I just hope I don't snore and with that last worry I'm off in a peaceful dream world of Spencer and our vacation on the island and about how perfect it will be. Hopefully anyways.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: dont own south

I'm trying to wake Ashley up so that I can get out of this boat but she is so deep asleep it's not even funny. I shake her a little harder and she snorts adorably.

"Ashley!" I yell irritated. She shoots up and looks me over to see if I was hurt.

"Spence, what's wrong." She asks.

"Nothing we're here." Is all I say before grabbing some bags and tossing them over the side of the boat. I feel Ashley pull my arm and I step closer to her. She pecks my lips and I smile widely.

"I love you." She tells me before tossing a few more bags over the boat. I step out and help her out of the boat and onto the dock.

"Wow this place is beautiful." She says looking at her surroundings. When she finally looks at how far up the first house is her face drops.

"Are you kidding me?" She says pointing to the house.

"Oh it's not that far." I tell her lifting up one of the bags. She takes one too and follows my lead.

"Oh great just put everything at the front porch and then we'll just find out where to put everything when we have it all up there." Paula says walking past us. I sigh and continue to walk.

"Spence, remind me again why I let you convince me to come?" She complains as she slumps down on the front porch. We just brought up the last bag that lay on the dock and she's exhausted. I look around to see who's around and straddle her when I prove the coast is clear.

"I think I can remind you later, maybe enough so that you'll never forget." I say as seductively as I can. She smiles brightly and I lean down and kiss her deeply pulling away only for a second to check to see if the coast is clear.

"You guys might want to get a room before doing that." I hear dad say. I jump up off Ashley turning red as is she.

"Sorry Mr. C." Ashley says standing up brushing herself off.

"It's ok, from the looks of it Spencer didn't give you much choice on the matter." Dad says. Ashley blushes more and lowers her head.

"Well anyways, Glenn and Trish are in Beta and Clay and Chelsea are in Charlie which leaves you two in Delta." Arthur said. Ashley had a what the heck are you saying look on her face.

"I'll explain later." I tell her as I grab my bag and hers.

"Come on." I say as she follows with a box of food. We reach a small little cabin type house and step inside.

"Wow Spence this is like our fist place together." Ashley says with a smile. I drop my bags and look at her.

"What do you say we try the bed out?" I ask with a wink. She smiles widely as I lead her to the bedroom.

"Wait Spence, don't you think we should wait until everything is settled?" Ashley asked me before we even reach the bed.

"No I think we should get a feel for this bed." I tell her with a smile. I pull her closer to me and kiss her sweetly and start to back towards my bed. I finally reach it and sit while she straddles me and kisses my neck, which happens to be one of my spots. I moan rather loudly and she pushes me down on my back as she starts to kiss me once more. This time I kiss her neck and can hear her heavy breath pass my ear which makes me want more. I'm pulling at her body trying to get her to do more to me but she is holding back, which I can understand but she has no idea how long I've been waiting for this, I want her so bad. I need to feel her body. She pulls away and stands up straightening herself up.

"Front door." She said stepping out of the room. I fix myself up as well and walk behind her to see my mom looking around and checking up on us. I swear she is so annoying! I sigh and make my way towards her as Ashley is a little slower afraid if she saw anything.

XXX

I hear the front door creak open and get off of Spencer.

"Front door." I explain. I then see Paula shifting through our things like a cop looking for drugs.

"Mom what do you want?" Spencer asked. Aw she's flushed.

"I'm just looking around, checking to see if everything's here that needs to be." Paula said. Spencer sighed and folded her arms walking to one of her bags.

"Well, Ashley, I hope you like your stay." Paula said giving me a fake smile.

"Thanks." I say returning her fake smile. She left and Spencer rushed to my side with a dirty smile on her face.

"What are you thinking? Your mom could come back." I say trying my best not to give in to her body.

"Fine but remember you're the one that said no." She tells me sliding a finger up my inner thigh. I close my eyes and wish she wasn't so good at turning me on. As soon as I feel her pull away my eyes shoot open and I race to her.

"I guess I can take a chance once in a while." I say pulling her back to the bedroom. She's giggling adorably and I toss her down on the bed taking my shirt off.

"Spencer." Glenn calls from the front door.

"Are you kidding me?" Spencer mumbles as she gets up. I sigh and quickly put my shirt back on before heading out of the room.

"What Glenn?" Spencer asked annoyed.

"Look just because you and Ashley got your own room does not mean that you two can play all night ok? I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night and have to listen to you two going at it." Glenn scolded. Spencer's arms were folded as were mine and neither of us wanted to listen to his lecture right now.

"Is that all?" Spencer huffed.

"No mom also wants you guys to eat dinner in Alpha tonight. So you better stay presentable." Glenn said pointing to me and then her. I swear if it wasn't Spencer's brother he'd have a black eye already.

"Fine now leave." Spencer told him slamming the wooden door in his face. I walk over to her and start kissing her shoulder.

"You ok?" I ask.

"I don't know, I just thought we'd get here and everything would be easier but it just got harder." Spencer said. I sigh and kiss her shoulder once more only this time leading up to her neck.

"I'm sorry, babe but that's just how it is when you aren't out like I am." I say. She sighs with me and I don't think I can take this depressed mood anymore. I reach my hands down towards her jeans and undo the button.

"Ashley Glenn just said…" She stopped talking when I put my hand in her jeans.

"That we had to be presentable not that we couldn't do anything." I tell her slyly. I take my hand out of her jeans and run to the bedroom quickly throwing my clothes off with her in hot pursuit. I am lying on my back on her bed in just my thong and bra while she is lying on top of me kissing my neck and making me moan.

"Spencer." I call. She nibbles a little at my neck and moves her kisses down to my breasts. I don't think I can take this teasing any longer, so I flip her over so that I am in control and slowly take her underwear off with my teeth. I can already feel the goose bumps form on her legs. As soon as I go back up to her face I hear a knock at the front door.

"You have got to be kidding me." I whisper.

"Ashley I can't go out there." Spencer whispers pathetically. I smile and kiss her passionately.

"It's ok, just finish yourself and I'll get the door ok?" I tell her. She blushes but nods knowing what I'm telling her to do. I smile and kiss her one last time but a little longer putting all of my love into it. I pull on my skirt I was wearing and my old shirt and run to the door.

"Yeah," I say as I open it.

"Hey Ashley, sorry for the intrusion but I just wanted to see what your guy's place looked like." Chelsea said waiting for me to let her in.

"Uh maybe now isn't such a great time." I tell trying to hint as to what I was in the middle of doing, or who.

"Oh oh my god I'm so sorry." She says quickly walking away. I smile as I close the door.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: dont own south

I'm sitting at the large table waiting to be served while Glenn's girlfriend, Trish shows Ashley some song on her phone.

"That's really cool I didn't think you would even know the band let alone listen to it." I hear Ashley say. I sigh and roll my eyes, there was no way that girl was straight at all! Look at her eyes roaming Ashley's body. Oh I don't think so missy only I can look at those!

"Ashley! We need to talk." I say rather loudly. Ashley looked at me weird and told Trish she'd be right back.

"What?" She asked me. I gave her a look say you know what!

"Spencer." She said her body relaxing.

"Look, I'm here with you, I want you and only you, some stupid bi girl will not take me from you, I'm forever yours." She said taking my hands in her own. I crack a smile and look into her eyes, her amazing eyes.

"You promise?" I ask her. She smiles and nods then looks around the room kissing me afterwards. I smile at her and we go back into the dining room and I expect Ashley to leave my side as soon as we step in. But she just sits down next to me her hand grazing my leg sneakily. I smile and sigh, this is how its supposed to be. This is what matters. I hear the oven beep and then watch my dad smile as the aroma of his meal comes pouring out as he opens the door.

"Come and get it!" He yells as he places the pork tenderloin on the table. Ashley and I are almost drooling cus it smells so good. I watch Glenn, mom, Clay, and Chelsea pour into the room as dad also lays out the salad bowl, bread, and potatoes.

"This looks delicious Mr. C." Ashley said as I make her plate. Paula and half the family look at me weird, but I ignore it. I like babying her and she likes when I lean over to grab things and when I lean over to put food on her plate so it's a win-win. I listen to forks clank on the plates and moans of delight as everyone's taste buds go nuts with the meal, I stare out the window and watch the breeze rustling the trees leaves and the waves roll in, I look to my left and notice the patio doors are closed so I stand up and open them. Again everyone is looking at me weird but I can't look at this and not listen to the sounds of the scene placed in front of me. Ashley is the only one besides me that sighs. She loves the sounds of the waves just as much as me and we both are just in our own little heaven. And at this point I don't care who knows about us, I don't care what will happen I just want to be able to touch her, kiss her, do whatever I want to her without having to conceal it.

"Ok, you guys, I uh have something to say." I say standing up. Everyone gave me that weird look again and I think I'm going to faint or die, mostly die because Ashley is even giving me that look. I look around the table and take a deep breathe before smiling at Ashley.

"Ok so uh, here it goes, well first I wanted to say thank you mom for letting Ashley come with me and thank you dad for enforcing it. And uh, just know that I love you all so very much," Well not you Trish, I hate you for hitting on my girlfriend earlier. I look at dad and he's smiling, he must know what I'm about to do. Then I look at Ashley and she won't look at me. Her eyes are the only thing giving me strength and I don't have them anymore. Please look up, please. The rest of the family is staring at me and I'm sure my face is going red.

"And I just want to say," Am I really about to do this? I look back at Ashley and she's not looking at me at all. A thousand thoughts are racing through my head right now and I think I'm going to cry. Why is this so hard? I then remember something Ashley told me a while back.

"It has to be hard, otherwise it wouldn't be real." Spencer smiled and looked down at Ashley one last time.

"Mom I love you…but if you can't take what I'm going to say and if you try and hurt Ashley I will refuse to call you mom ever again." I threaten I hear forks clank against plates and see wide glances.

"Guys"

Oh my god, she's really gonna go through with this. What came over her. God I'm so dead. I can't even look at her. I can't believe she would do this. Now we're never going to be able to have a moments peace. Spence please don't do it. I look up at her finally and she see's how scared I am. She see's how badly I wish this wasn't going to happen, she see's right through me and I can't do a thing about it.

"I just wanted you all to know that," I feel her look down at me again and I can hear a change in her voice.

"I uh, do plan on going to UCLA. And mom I know you wanted me to go to Berkley but I just like UCLA so much more, I'm sorry." She looks around and then down at her plate.

"What did that have to do with Ashley?" Glenn asks.

I hate you.

"Well Ashley was the one to bring it up, and I didn't want mom to think that she is the only reason I am going so," Spencer finished. Nice save babe. I search for her hand under the table but as soon as I reach it she pulls away. What is wrong with her? I didn't do anything. A few minutes later everyone is done with there meal except for Spencer.

"Spence, you feeling ok?" Arthur asks as he takes the rest of the dishes to the sink.

"Fine dad." She tells him not looking away from her mashed potatoes. I stare at her and feel terrible. I don't even know why, because I didn't do anything but I still feel like I should have dirt thrown at me and people kicking me and all this terrible thins should happen to me.

"Spencer?" I call scooting my chair closer. I see a tear run down her cheek slowly and then another and another. I put my chair closer to her again and wipe away those tears.

"Babe, what happened? What did I do, please talk to me." I say pleadingly but get no response. Hanging my head I scoot my chair away from her.

"Well whatever I did I'm sorry, I'm sure I didn't mean to, I love you." That must have been her breaking point because she got up and placed her plate on the counter while her dad looks at her upset. What the hell? I get up and chase after her.

"Spencer, wait, why won't you talk to me?" I'm still chasing after her but she's just to fast and I'm not used to the uneven paths of the rocks. I stumble a few times and it slows me down, and then suddenly I'm on my stomach with a sharp pain shooting trough my ankle. Screaming I rub my ankle and I start to cry. It hurts so bad and I'm pretty sure Spencer's not going to come back and see if I'm ok because she's so ticked off, about nothing. Oh my god my ankle hurts so bad. I lay on my back squeezing my face in agony. "

Ashley! Calm down, please stop flailing, I need to look at your ankle." I hear a familiar voice say. I open my eyes and see blue ones.

"Spencer, god make the pain stop please Spencer." I yell.

"Ashley, I'm Paula, Spencer is out getting Arthur." I start to cry more knowing she's not by my side, and then feel Paula force my leg down and gently push down on the skin.

"Ok, come on, I'll help you up but we have to get you in a bed." She says. It almost sounds like there is a hint of worry in her voice. She's probably afraid that my mom will sue her. I won't let her though.

"Is Spencer, here yet? Is she around?" I ask as Paula lifts me up.

"She's coming Ashley. Now just use your other leg to stand up and try to put as little pressure on your ankle as you can alright." I nod and limp my way back to the house, which was a lot harder on one foot then one. I thought I was going to fall again and hurt my other ankle. We reach the house and she helps me sit on the couch. I look over to see Spencer crying.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry, I don't ever want to make you cry." I say reaching my hand up to her face. She grabs it and kisses it three times placing it back down at my side, mouthing, 'I love you' as Paula comes back in with her medical kit.

XXX

"Mom, is she going to be ok?" I ask. My mom just stays busy checking out Ashley's ankle and the rest of her leg. I watch her wrap Ashley's ankle and foot in a beige cloth.

"Ok, just sit up now, and I'll be back with some pain killers alright." My mom says, walking off towards the bathroom. I sit next to Ashley and she stiffens.

"Ashley why wouldn't you look at me?" She turns to face me confusion all over her face.

"When I was about to tell my family, you wouldn't look at me, why?" I ask again. She looks down at the floor.

"I was afraid." She says simply.

"Of what." She gives me an are you serious look and says.

"Your mom and the Hulk Smash." I laugh as I get an image in my head of my mom as a pro-wrestler. That would be a sight.

"Ashley, I wouldn't let her touch you. I'd protect you with my life." I tell her taking her hand. She looks up and smiles at me pecking my cheek and hugging me tightly. We quickly let go as my mom clears her throat holding a glass of water and some Tylenol.

"Thank you." Ashley says gracefully taking the glass and swallowing the pill. I smile and run my fingers up and down her back.

"You ok now?" I ask, giving her a weak smile. She nods and rests her head on my shoulder closing her yes and sighing, clearly forgetting about my mom. I take in her sent and sigh. My mom walks out of the room not saying anything at all while Arthur walks in.

"Hey Ashley, are you alright?" He asks kneeling in front of us.

"Yeah Mr. C." She says.

"I'm kind of tired though." She continues.

"Ok, well Spencer you should take her back to your guy's cabin and get her settled in. And Ashley, I think you should stay off your feet for a little bit at least for a few days." He said kindly. Ashley nodded and got up on her right foot., hobbling over to the front door. I get up and take her arm and open the door for her. She sighs as she gets to the stairs and attempts to take a step but I won't let her.

"Ash, let me carry you, I'm a lot stronger than you think." I say. She gives me a worried look.

"I don't want you to fall because of me." She tells me. I roll my eyes and lift her up and listen to her squeal.

"See, I'm fine not even stumbling." I tell her. I have a little trouble holding her and take a few stops to try and make sure she's comfortable and is not going to fall out of my arms. When we reach the house I gently put her down but she doesn't let go of my waist. We walk into the house and she falls on the couch almost immediately.

"God, this is going to suck." She say's laying her arms across her face.

"I'm sorry." I say hanging my head.

"It's not your fault." She replies.

"Yes it is, if I had talked to you, you wouldn't have run after me." I felt tears forming in my eyes. How could I be so stupid! I should have just talked to her about it instead of running. I see movement in the corner of my eyes and then feel her arms wrap around my waist.

"Look, it wasn't your fault ok, I should have just walked, I knew I was going to fall but I continued to run. It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault." She says running her hands up and down my arms. I just nod and wipe a tear off my cheek. She pecks me quickly and limps over to the kitchen.

"So what do you want for desert?" She asks me. I smile and walk up to her,

"I'll make it, you need to stay off your feet." I put my hands on her shoulders and move her back out of the kitchen.

"Just sit on the couch ok," I tell her. She frowns and folds her arms.

"You know I'm not completely useless." She pouts.

"I know but you're going to need your energy for later tonight." I say with a wink. She smiles as her eyes wander my body.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: dont own south

**hey ok everyone thank shoe-lace2 cus they are the best fan! i loved the review and u r my new best friend lol so i wasnt gonna post more on here until i got further on it on word but cus of shoe-lace i cant wait for u guys to read it so enjoy!! and thank u shoe lace u really did make me feel more confident and stuff so yea thank you!**

I turn on my side and see a beautiful girl laying next to me and instantly wonder how I got so lucky. I turn my head to look at the clock on the side of the bed that read 10:30. Sighing I get myself up and carefully make my way over to the kitchen to make Spencer some breakfast. I still don't understand why she got so upset at the table yesterday but I just figured that that was all behind us now. I start to flip the pancakes and feel the floorboards creak.

"Morning." I say with a smile. She hugs me from behind and kisses my shoulder.

"You shouldn't be up." She mumbles groggily.

"Well you deserve a nice breakfast." I tell her. She smiles and kisses my cheek before walking to the bathroom. Waking up early wasn't that bad here. You got to listen to the birds chirp, which was less annoying here than L.A., and then you could hear the waves crash on the shore. They always seemed like they sounded like a mother hushing her hurt child. Then to just feel the calm breeze hit your face, that was the most relaxing. Plus it never got too hot. It seemed that if the sun started to heat you up to much a nice breeze would pass by and then you were cool. There was just a natural balance here. Nature and humans living in perfect harmony. There should be more places like this.

I zone back into cooking and place the pancakes on a plate for my love and then put her over-easy eggs next to them just as she walks back out of the bathroom .

"I didn't know you could cook." She admits.

"Well there's a lot you don't know about me." I reply sitting next to her at the table resting my head in the palm of my hand.

"Like what, oh my gosh don't tell me you're a secret agent from Washington. And that you are doing research on gays trying to take over the world." She jokes. I smile so wide my nose crinkles.

"Yup, that's exactly it." I joke with her. She smiles but continues to eat her meal. A few minutes later she sits back in her chair and stares at me her eyes showing me all the love in the world. God how I love those eyes. They really are amazing. I stand up and walk over next to her and pick up her dishes before giving her a kiss to the crown of her head. Then I walk over and turn the water on and clean them off.

"Ash." I hear her call.

"Yeah babe." I ask back. There was a long pause before she spoke again.

"Do you not want me to come out to my parents?" The plate in my hand falls in the sink and I turn my head to look over at her.

"Spence, you already came out to your dad. I mean you don't have to come out to Paula if you don't want to." I say. She sighs and gets up from her chair.

"So that's a no then." She says walking into the kitchen.

"Spencer, I told you before, your mom is the only person that scares the living shit out of me. I just don't want you to come out and then have her keep us apart. I wouldn't be able to survive without seeing you." I explain. She seems to understand now, but there's still a puzzled look on her face.

"Ok," is the only response I get before she walks out the front door. Did I say something wrong? I don't think I did. And even if I did what was it. Why is she acting so weird? I sigh and finish washing the dishes before trying my best to walk to the dock where I see she is headed. About halfway there I realize I can't make it without something to lean on so I look for a long stick or something to hold me up. The only one's I find are either way too little or they break easily. I look up and see a branch that is hanging off the tree so I reach up, yank on it, and try to break it free. Instead of the branch breaking it only bends and a bunch of freaky brown looking ladybug type things come crawling on my arm. Naturally I let go of the branch quickly ready to wipe the freaky bugs off me but before I can do that the branch swings up and scratches my cheek right up and I hiss in pain.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" I yell as loud as I can. A few birds fly away and I see Spencer look back at me with curiosity. I give her a pathetic look to let her know I'm not ok and head back to our little house.

**hehe i just like having nature attack ashley lol idk y i just think its funny cus shes such a city girl lol well leave some love**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: dont own south

**Ok so i know it takes me forever to post but idk i just get tired of doing it everyday. not the best excuse but its not supposed to be so HA anywways heres more.**

God what did she do know? I swear that girl is just not getting along with nature. As Ashley walks back to our cabin I run up to try and catch up to her.

"Ashley!" She turns around.

"Just wait right there, I'm coming." I yell up to her. She stays put and sighs trying to keep herself balanced on one foot. When I do reach her I hold her waist and look her over.

"What happened?" I ask. She doesn't respond and first, and only tucks my hair behind my ear in her gentle Ashley Davies way.

"Ashley, what did you do?" Her eyes shot back up to my eyes from looking at my lips.

"I didn't do anything, the TREE attacked ME!" she says rather loudly. I can't help but smile at her defensive statement.

"Babe, the tree doesn't move unless you move it. Now really what happened." I ask with a smile. She only huffs.

"Spence, really the tree did attack me." Her bottom lips sticks out and I lose it, I don't care about what happened and how I just want her lips. So I smile and cup the side of her cheek that isn't scratched up and kiss her ever so gently, letting her deepen it. Her hand is resting on my waist and I feel her thumb slip into the crevice of my jean shorts. Slowly, I move my body closer to her forgetting she's on one foot and end up making her loose her balance. A squeal and thump later we're on the ground atop one another.

"Ashley I'm so sorry, are you ok?" I ask getting up. She nods with her eyes sealed tight and rubbing her head.

"No your not, I'm sorry, here let's get you back inside." I say lifting her back up on one foot. We slowly and carefully make our way back to the cabin and I help her sit down on the couch.

"Spencer, I'm fine really." She calls from the couch.

"Ashley, this is just in case, ok, I don't want it to get infected." Slowly and gently I dab a little peroxide on her cheek. She just sits there not moving.

"Are you ok?" I ask. She looks up at me with some of the saddest eye's I ever have seen.

"Why won't you talk to me?" She asks, her voice cracking. I lower my head not sure if I should tell her the real answer.

"I just," I feel her hand on my knee and look up into those fearless brown eyes. After about two seconds I feel her warm lips on mine. She pulls away but not too far saying,

"Just tell me." I look away and begin my reasoning.

"It' just the moment I was ready to come out it seemed like you didn't want me to. And I guess I just got angry after the remembering how much you wanted me to so I wouldn't be your, 'dirty little secret' I don't know it just upset me." She lifts my head up so I'm looking at her.

"Spencer, I just didn't want to deal with it. But hey, if you still want to come out then by all means go ahead, I just don't want to have to deal with Paula trying to keep us apart. I mean its already hard enough to see you as it is. I just…I don't want to loose you." She explains. I smile and straddle her kissing her gently. She always knows just what to say to get me. I love her. She tangles her fingers in my hair and I smile as I get up off her and walk into the bedroom.

"You want to go swimming?" I ask. She comes into the bedroom to see me finishing tying my bathing suit top. I watch as a dirty smile comes across her face.

"Can't we just stay in?" She asks making her way closer to me having a little trouble. When she reaches me she pecks my lips.

"No, because I know what you want, and I don't need you straining your foot anymore. At least in water you can just float on one of the floaty tings." I tell her shimmying off my jeans. She watches her pupils getting big and shakes her head.

"Too bad." Is all she says before pushing me back on my bed. I giggle and let her take over.


	13. Chapter 13

ok soooo u guys rock...i have to admit i was being a lil overdramatic i just was getting fed up w/ ppl buut anyways i cant let the ppl who r reading down just cus im havin a squable w/ some one soooo here ya go!

It's the next morning and Spencer isn't in the bed. I've looked around the room thinking she might just be getting dressed but no, she's not there. I don't smell breakfast so she's not cooking and she'd be back by now if she was using the bathroom.

I get out of bed and put a robe on that's conveniently hanging up on the door. I exit the bedroom and am about to begin my search but as soon as I open the door I see a Lily on the floor and a note.

'Good morning beautiful, sorry I wasn't up next to you but just go enjoy breakfast and you'll see me soon, I love you. -Spencer-' I read. I smile to myself and take in the scent of the flower. Slowly I make my way to the kitchen and see she has a plate of pancakes covered in plastic wrap so the bugs won't get it, some syrup, and some butter set aside. This girl is amazing. How did I not smell this when she made it. I look on the table and what I didn't see before is gently placed next to the syrup. I pick up the Lily and read the note that's attached to this one.

'Now I know what you're thinking. How did I not wake you up with my amazing food, well I put a towel to cover the bottom of the door to the bedroom so that the scent would just barely get in there. Plus I opened some window's, oh which reminds me, could you close them, I don't want any chance of mosquito's getting in. Thank you babe. I love you and enjoy your meal before you close the window otherwise they'd get cold.' The note read. My smile didn't fade for a second. I quickly ate My breakfast and did as I was told by the note and shut the window's wondering how long Spencer would be out. When I went to close the last window I saw another Lily with yet another note.

"Thank you baby. You're the greatest, I knew I could count on you. Oh and by now you're probably wonder how long it's going to be until you see me, well it all depends on how fast you do what the notes tell you. But I bet you still have bed head so I'll let you clean yourself up in the bathroom ok. Love, Spencer'

"You know me so well Spence." I mumble to myself. I walk into the bathroom and start to brush my teeth before brushing my hair. I really wish I could at least get a good morning kiss from her. When I finish my hair I open the medicine cabinet. And of course there's a lily sitting gracefully in it with another note.

'You done yet, if not just put this to the side, if you are then I need you to do a favor for me, please don't dress in you skimpy shirt today, don't get me wrong I LOVE them but you'll just get really cold, also I would bring a jacket or something and wear either long shorts or jeans. Love ya babe. Spencer' Ok now I'm extremely curious as to what was going on but I followed the directions of the note and walked back into our bedroom. When I opened the dresser I see yet another note.

This one was more short just telling me to wear my bathing suit underneath as a just in case thing. So I do and I choose to wear a t-shirt with gray skulls, a large pink one in the left bottom of it and a pink and blue broken heart in the top right. For jeans I pick my ones with a few holes in them. Now I don't know where I'm supposed to go. I want to make sure I get the next note, so I don't mess up Spencer's plan but where do I go? I search around the house for a few more but don't find any so I just think about where Spencer would put the next one. As I'm thinking there's a knock at the door. I get up and open it to see Chelsea.

"Hey, do you know where Spencer is?" I ask quickly. She smiles at me and just hands me a Lily.

"I think this is just adorable." She admits as I read it with a smile.

'Ok, don't pester Chelsea to much, she doesn't know where I am either. I left a note where she would find it and then told her to give you the lily. Anyways. I need one more favor from you. Sorry, I don't mean to put you to work, but I do need a few things for my surprise. So here's a list of some things I need alright.' I read the list and had no idea where I could find these things. What did she think I was superman, I don't have x-ray vision, but I sure wish I did. Anyways, I look back up at where Chelsea stood but she was gone. Great now who was supposed to help me? Paula? Wait, why doesn't my foot hurt? I look down at my foot and see there's a brace on it but no pain, maybe I don't need it. I'll leave It on just in case, I really don't want to screw up Spencer's plans. I make my way out the door and look back down at the list, first thing on there is some rope. I sigh look around and figure my best bet is to ask around. Carefully I make my way to Clay and Chelsea's place. Clay is sitting on the porch reading a book and I don't see Chelsea.

"Hey clay." He looks up.

"Hey Ash what do you need?" He asks me.

"Well I was hoping you could tell me where I could find some of the things on this list." I tell him, I hand him the Lily and he reads it with a smile.

"She's got you on a scavenger hunt now?" I nod and he continues on.

"Well the rope, life jackets, and whistles, you could find in the boat house. The rest is mostly food so you're going to have to just search around for it in different houses." He explains. I sigh not wanting to have to go through all this but also know it's worth it to see Spencer.

"Ok, well since I'm here you think I could search for some stuff here?" I ask. Clay nods and hands me a pencil to check things off my list. So, I search though there cabinets and fridge looking back and forth from the list to the various things in the cabinet.

Finally when I finish Glenn comes up to me holding a Lily. Before he can even say anything I snatch it from him and read the note.

"Ok so now that you've done my favor's come down to the dock your surprise awaits." I smile and look down towards the water but nothing's there. So naturally I make my way down searching the waters waiting for Spencer to pop out of thin air. When I reach the dock I see a sail boat pull in and my beautiful girlfriend behind the wheel.

"You ready?" She asks. I shake my head wide eyed.

"No."

"Come one I'll keep you safe I promise." She whines I sigh grab the bags that have everything she asked for and slowly make y way on the boat. I have to admit sailing isn't that bad. It's nice and slow, and when you look out at the horizon its like you're looking at the whole world. I definitely wouldn't mind doing this again.

"Ashley you wanna learn?" Spencer asked from behind the wheel. I smile and walk up to her.

"Not really but if you want a break then sure." I say. She smiles as I kiss her forehead.

"Here just hold the wheel." Spencer said walking off.

"What Spencer no wait!" I yell as I take the wheel.

"Spencer really I don't know what I'm doing please." I plead.

"Ash you're fine just hold it straight I'll be right back.

"What where are you going?" I ask frantic.

"Just down below I'll be right back." she says going through the wooden door.

"Spencer!" I yell. I keep the wheel still and look around me. So far so good. No other boats. When my heart slows down I realize how much fn I'm actually having. This isn't that bad really. I see her emerge back from the lower deck with a smile.

"See, you're fine." She said. I smile sheepishly and wait for her to make her way towards me.

"I love you." She states before kissing me. We pull apart and smile.

"I love you too." I reply. She reveals a bottle of champagne.

"Ooh sneaky." I say as she gigles. Se pours it in two glasses and hands me one.

"Cheers." I say clinging her glass.


	14. Chapter 14

**I"M BAAAACCCCKKK ok so i know i suck for making you guys wait so long but ive been reading a LOT of different books and trying to get better at using better words plus ive been taking all these extra writing classes and i swear as soon as i can I wanna trya and get this published k! wont that be AWESOME to get this story published OH MY GOD and if i have to change the characters i will but i really don't want to wow just think you guys might be able to se this at like barnes and noble or something lol ok well the first part is from before i started the classes and stuff and at uhm.."Ashley seemed to be in heaven as she ate" yeah thats after ok well hope you enjoy!!!!!! and yea sry its not a lot but i still hope its good enough for you all**

"Cheers." She replies. I smile at her as she drinks her glass. "So um, in a couple days we'll be going out for a year, is there anything special you wanted?" I ask her. "No I don't want you to waste your money on me, you've done enough already." She tells me. Which takes me by surprise. "What have I done?" "Everything," She tells me simply.

XXX

Ashley smiled and took a sip of her drink before I put the boat at anchor.

"So how about some lunch? I ask. She smiles with agreement and I go back down the steps leading to the kitchen and one room. Grabbing everything that I had her look for I took it and made the one dish I knew I could make very well, I started off with some Italian quesadillas, then made a few Zucchini and carrot a scapece. Ashley seemed to be in heaven as she ate, and I was simply in heaven just being here with her. To be in her presence was all that I needed at the moment.

"Spencer this was amazing, you are definitely cooking every meal when we move in together." Ashley said as she whipped her mouth. The sentence took me by surprise and a sudden rush of…..something comes over me. I'm not sure what the feeling is or even if it was good or bad, it was just there, lingering between the two of us and it stayed for quite some time. Unwelcome and frigid it remained until I was able to form words.

"Yeah." Or well word. She hung her head slightly and I felt incredibly guilty, but that was a lot to take in you can't just expect someone to be ok with that. Or maybe you could, was I supposed to be ok with Ashley talking the way she did. If so what does it mean when you don't act the way you are expected. Thoughts like these raced through my head and I sat from retrieving the plates.

"Spencer I am so sorry, I know that was too much to put on you, I wasn't thinking please, just please forgive me." Ashley pleaded kneeling in front of me. Now an even greater amount of guilt hit me as she begged for my forgiveness, forgiveness that was useless and unneeded, there was nothing to be saying sorry for and the fact that I made her feel that there was need for it hurt me. My eyes were filling with tears and mistakenly I looked up into her eyes, her broken saddened eyes. I did that, I broke the sparkle that shown so bright just moments before.

"Ashley don't," I paused, for God's sake why did I pause? I knew what to say but yet the words would refuse to be spoken. That is until I felt a cold tear hit my jeans.

"No Ashley don't cry, please don't!" I plea and she looks up at me, another tear falling and another and as I sat quiet even more came increasing in speed.

"Ashley I love you, I was just…I don't know shocked, I guess I wasn't ready to hear about moving in with you just yet, but you don't have to apologize for saying what you did ok? So please stop crying I didn't mean to scare you really," I explain. Ashley tried her best to stop crying I could tell by her demeanor, and eventually, with a few kisses to the forehead and a hand stroking her hair, she did, and some of my guilt vanished along with her tears.

"Ash," I call as if she were asleep. Her head, which was resting on my lap at the moment, moved only slightly so that her chin rest on my knee's; her eyes looked up at me and she looked almost sleepy.

"I love you." I whisper to her like its some big dark secret. Maybe it is, maybe it's a secret still only half of me knows. It's a secret to my family, or well half of it anyways, and it's a secret to half of the school. Everything seemed to be half, nothing seemed to be all. Which made me realize how badly I wanted it all to be all. I wanted all of me to know that I was dating a girl, that I was dating Ashley Davies, and that I was in love. I want ALL of my family to know that I'm wooing Ashley, and I want the whole school to know my love and affection to this amazing girl and I also want to not care, I want to be able to tell myself day in and day out that I am in love with Ashley and no matter what anyone else says or thinks I always will be.


	15. Chapter 15

**Ok sooo this has very little speech but i think its maybe one of my favorite scenes so i hope you guys like it.**

**and no i do not own south *runs and cries***

I keep my chin cradled in Spencer's lap, keep my eyes on her deep-in-thought blue ones.

I whisper that I love her too back, but I don't think she hears it, she is so concentrated on something, lost in her own world of thoughts. I kiss her knee longingly, I need to feel more than just her knee under my chin, I need to feel her; I need to have her surrounding me, almost smothering me with affection but I also don't want to sound like a needy child.

I don't want to be the kind of girlfriend that needs to have there significant other around them at all times, or needs to know what they are doing at all times, but I do need her, especially right now, vulnerability is choking me and my only escape is her arms, but she is so distant, so off in her own space and I'm too afraid to break it.

I'm afraid of both stepping away and stepping closer to her so I stay still, ignoring the pain shooting through my ankle at this uncomfortable angle.

I cross my arms atop her legs and rest my head on them shifting my body slightly, maybe there was a way to get the pain to stop a little but instead it only makes it worse and I squeal from the knife like feeling now running up my entire leg.

This catches her attention and she rushes off the seat to my side.

Firmly puts her hands on my shoulders but gently pushes me back silently telling me to lay down.

I try to but it hurts so much, and I feel more tears escaping, tears only Spencer will be allowed to see.

When my back was finally against the solid floor I feel her lightly massage my ankle being so careful not to add too much pressure on it.

"That better?" She asks. Her voice is so calm and deep, but also hardly there.

I nod and sigh, it does feel better, much in fact.

The pain is now gone but Spencer doesn't know that, she also doesn't know that it stop racing up and down my leg so she continues to massage my entire leg, still so gentle and cautious, and there is no way I'm telling her I feel better, because this feels to good; but the longer she massages the deeper my desire is for her lips.

I take her hand and pull it up to my face slowly, kissing each finger.

She cracks a smile and moves her whole body up to my level and lays next to me, wrapping an arm gently across my stomach.

"Thank you, Spence." I say, focused on her, my eyes racing around her face going over every detail like it has so many other times before.

Only this time it's different, now instead of remembering each detail its almost as if I'm checking, checking to make sure they are still there.

Of course each of the them are, the small dimples, her one tiny birthmark, everything I've studied so hard before was right where they had been, and they are still mine.

"You wanna head back?" She asks stroking my hair.

I shake my head.

"No, I want to stay right here and enjoy life right here. Besides," I continue, "Your mom is back there." She laughs and scoots closer to me, nuzzling into my neck and taking in a large breath of air releasing it slowly.

Then of course she sneakily kisses my neck, gentle enough to form goose bumps but firm enough to make that one area of my skin burn.

I giggle and close my eyes ready to take a nap, even on the hard surface we lay on, but she seems to have other plans for I feel another kiss to my neck, this one less gentle than the last, and yet enough to make me gasp.

Along with that she toys with my jeans, mostly around the button and then another kiss only this time further across my neck.

I can help but turn to her and say, "Miss Carlin, you seem to want to make-up the proper way." And then of course the blush, her cheeks turn that rosy red color that I love so much and I turn to her to kiss each cheek.

Today is most certainly one of my favorite days so far on this god forsaken island.


	16. Chapter 16

**I know theres no excuse for my short posts but at least they are comin right? well this is one of the more hotter posts i guess lol enjoy!**

Labored breathing hits my ear as Ashley smiled and nibbled slightly on it.

I turn to her and kiss her enjoying the breeze that hit us.

We hadn't moved from the floor where I had started to massage Ashley's leg.

From where she had startled me with her statement, from where the tears fell, and from where I realized I'm ready to let everyone know who I really was.

I felt her hand begin to roam my body again causing goose bumps to form wherever her hand went, and I stifle my laugh but she still heard it.

"What's so funny?" She asked me her kisses starting to roam almost as freely as her hand.

"Ash, you do know we have to get back soon, I'm sure they are a little curious as to where we have been seeing as how we've been gone for almost half the day." I tell her.

She only groans and positions herself on top of me.

"Just one more time?" She asks like a little kid begging for one more cookie.

I laugh again.

"Ash," She smiles at me knowing that I'm already caving into temptation.

Knowing I can't handle her deep brown eyes, or her soft light fingers, or even her heavy, deep, husky voice.

She also knows when I call her name in a whine it means I'm giving in.

"That's not a no." She whispers to me with a lingering kiss.

"Come on, the floor is too hard, isn't there a couch or something down below?" She asks leading me to the steps that lead down to the lower deck.

I don't answer I let her lead me, I let her take over and do what she wants, let her kiss where she wants, let her touch what she wants, and let her say what she wants because it all just feels to good to resist any longer.

I can hear the walkie-talkie beep off in the distance, meaning someone was trying to call us.

"Ash," I attempt to say, but it only comes out in that breathless way.

The way I say it when I want more, which I do, so I ignore the walkie-talkie for a little while until I hear it go off for the third time.

"Ashley," I pause letting a moan escape.

"Ashley the thing is," another moan only louder.

"Ash." She can hear me I know she can, but she doesn't stop, not that I want her to but I have to see what was going on.

It isn't until she comes back up to kiss me that I can actually speak again.

"Ashley, I need to listen to the walkie-talkie." I say quickly.

She pouts but that doesn't stop me from getting up, her in hot pursuit behind me.

"Yeah?" I say into the blue and black walkie-talkie.

Just as I hear Clay's voice on the other end Ashley wraps her arms around me and hoists me up taking me back to the couch.

"Spence, dinner is almost done here so either you're eating there or coming here this second." Clay said.

I can hear Ashley snicker in my ear as she kisses my neck and then I hear her mumble,

"I'm kinda full Spence, but I think there's plenty of things here that you could eat." I smile at her forgetting about Clay and nibble on her lip.

"You know I am kinda famished, I don't think I can make it home to wait and eat." I tell her, her brown eyes grow darker and her fingers begin teasing me again.

"Is that so?" She says in her deep husk voice and now I can't speak, I'm rendered speechless that is until I hear Clay's voice again.

"Spence," He calls I roll my eyes slightly annoyed .

"I'll see what I can do." I tell him.

"Spencer, we need a definite answer." He sounds almost annoyed, but I was kind of avoiding coming home or maybe something happened.

"No I think we'll be ok here." I respond gasping and arching my back from Ashley's entrancing fingers.

"Ok" he sighs. I toss the thing to the side and flip Ashley over so I'm on top smiling at her deviously.

Her eyes are even darker, almost black, an odd turn on for me.


	17. Chapter 17

**Ok its a repost because I twisted it I had a mojor idea and you're prolly gonna hate me but dont worry all is well!!! Eeeeeekkk im so excited for you guys to read it! I should prolly post it now!**

With Spencer in control it's almost adding on to the hotness of this whole situation. I can feel her tongue trail down my stomach, hear her soft moans as she listens to me. It's all so intoxicating and erotic that I never want her to stop. She moves her head back up to mine and kisses me, her tongue just as skilled as her teasing. I love how she'll speed up just to get me going and immediately slow down. I also hate it. When I feel her tongue leave my mouth I moan and feel a single finger slip into me. Just the mere feeling and knowledge of Spencer being inside of me, doing things to me I don't think anyone else has, sends chills throughout my whole body. She must notice because she slips a second finger in making my back arch. Her kisses lead back up to my lips and she takes my hand in hers guiding it to her breasts. Just the feeling of them cause me to get even more wet and I begin to thrust my body making her go faster. I'm sure that someone somewhere can hear us due to how loud both of our moans are but I don't care nor do I notice how loud we are, I'm concentrated solely on Spencer and this moment. For some reason I feel her stop and I let a noise slip that carries both annoyance and mostly disappointment from her pulling away suddenly. All of the annoyance, and disapproval goes away as soon as I look into those eyes, they're darker than before but still just as beautiful and deep, and caring. She shifts herself and straddles me, starring into my eyes for what seems like hours.

"I love you Ashley." She whispers. Its almost as if she's saying it to get me to, to make sure that I do which confuses me, but then again maybe I'm just reading her wrong.

"I love you too Spence, so much." I whisper back. I watch a smile spread across her face and her lips begin to attack my neck as she grinds against me, the friction alone making me go insane. She moves her kisses to my pulse point and starts to suck knowing how much that turns me on and I grab her ass pushing the two of us even closer than before, if that were even possible. This leads to her trailing kisses down my neck and to my breast while she places two fingers in me once more. I moan insanely as she nibbles slightly at my skin, then, of course, thunder is heard from outside the boat and I groan knowing that Spencer will want to go back. As if on cue she lifts her head to face me and shoots this pathetic and sorrowful face at me.

"I'm sorry." She says like a little kid. I can only smile and try my best to smooth out her wild hair.

"It's ok, we'll finish back at camp." I tell her gently. A smile spreads across her face but she seems sad about something and she doesn't move. Almost as if time itself has stopped she just sits up on top of me and stares at me. I have to admit its making me a little uneasy. I want to know what's going on in her head, what she's thinking, it scares me not knowing what is going on. Or maybe it's the unknown that scares me, it terrifies me in fact. I watch her as she shifts her gaze form me to my eyes. Sure she was looking at them before but now she's concentrated on them. Focused and staring as if she'll find the answers to the worlds biggest mysteries. Finally she speaks and it not only eases my fear but erases it completely.

"I'm so sorry Ashley, I should have told you. Just know I love you. I always will, please don't forget about me." I feel tears fall onto my skin and I myself am about to cry. What is she talking about? Is she breaking up with me? I don't understand. Then, next thing I know, her eyes begin to gloss over and her body falls next to mine.

"Spencer," I call not ready to believe what just happened not ready for any of it.

"Spencer come on wake up!" I yell.

"Spencer this isn't funny!" I then scream and shake her. But I know it now....

She's dead.


	18. Chapter 18

**eeek ok i love these chapters ha lol ok so i hope you enjoy this is centered around Ashley (this chapter anyways) and i tried to describe the symptoms as best i could so dnt jump down my throat if i mess up this has never happened to me so i had to research online lol well ENJOY!**

I felt someone shaking me ferociously and I bolted up.

"Spencer?!" I yell. It's Kyla, she shakes her head and looks at me sad. I don't understand, what was going on. A day ago I was on a beautiful beach with a beautiful girl, and today…I'm…home. It was a dream! I knew it I knew Spencer wasn't dead!

"Kyla where's the phone I need to call Spencer." I nearly yell jumping out of bed.

"Ashley,"

"You will not believe the dream I had, I almost thought it was real." I tell her she's trying to tell me something but my mouth won't stop moving. My voice is still racing out not allowing her to speak.

"Ashley you can't!" She yells to get my attention. I freeze. My shirt barely covering my chest anymore as I change into fresh clothes.

"What do you mean Kyla?"

It was a dream, it was a dream, it was a dream it was a dream.

"Ash, you can't call Spencer."

It's just a dream it's just a dream, it's just a dream, its just a dream. My eyes shut tight.

"Kyla, stop fooling around! Give me the phone so I can call Spencer!" I scream.

It was only a dream only a dream only a dream. I continue to repeat those words in my head. Just a dream just a dream, she's ok, she's not dead. Just a dream. I open my eyes as Kyla hugs me.

"Ashley I'm so sorry!" She exclaims, I shove her off of me.

"STOP IT! Just give me the phone!"

"Ashley I can't she's still in the coma! I'm sorry I wish I could help but theres nothing either of us can do. Please the doctors said they call us if there were any changes." She's….but….not dead….good….but coma?

"Kyla I don't understand. Why can't I remember what happened? I remember her falling on me she said sory and died I swear! But she's in a coma? I don't get it!" She grabs my hands nd pulls me to my bed to have me sit down.

"Ashley…Spencer is in the hospital, she fell into a coma do to an injury that happened long, long ago. Arthur explained all this yesterday when you all came back down." I thought long and hard but I couldn't remember anything. That's a lie, I did remember things. I remembered how sad Spencer looked, how she told me she loved me like it would be the last time she ever would. I remember feeling like I died when she did, or at least when I thought she did.

"Why can't I remember Kyla?" I ask her. She shrugged.

"I don't know, you wanna go visit Arthur, maybe he'll know why." Ashley nodded and let me led her to her car. I was frozen the whole drive. I don't think I can go to the Carlin house and not see my favorite Carlin, the Carlin I love, the one I planned on having move in with me. We reached the house and I sat still in the car. I couldn't move. My eyes were unfocused but still, not staring at anything specific. I watched Kyla stare at me she seemed scared, but I couldn't move. I felt like I couldn't really breath either. My breaths were shallow and irregular, I felt nauseous and I could barely feel my heart beat. I barely noticed Kyla run into the house, barely noticed Arthur wave his hand in front of me. Barely noticed I had stopped breathing. I heard a faint sound like a slamming noise, felt the car speed off, heard my name. Still I didn't speak. Didn't react. Didn't move. I didn't feel alive. A sudden pulling came at my side and I realized I was being lifted, where was I going? I couldn't tell it was like I was blind my eyes wouldn't focus on anything. Or maybe they were just closed and I couldn't open them. Am I in a coma? No, I don't think so. Isn't a coma when you look like your sleeping only you're not? That's what's happening though. I get my answer when I hear Arthur yell to a person in the building he took me in,

"She's going into shock!" Shock, that doesn't seem that bad what's the worst that can happen?

"Alright we need to get her set up, before she passes." the other man says. Wait passes as in, whoa I can die! I feel my heart beat faster and only slightly harder. I can feel my eyes fluttering but are they opening or closing? They're opening, I see light. And then darkness and I pass out.


	19. Chapter 19

**ok im gettin a lot of whats goin on reviews so ima just say this i reposted chapter 20 and the ending is different ok so i suggest you go back and re-read that chapt. and then read this one sorry for the confusion**


	20. Chapter 20

**hey guys i wanted to get this in before i go to disney tomorrow. It's a two day trip so i wont post until friday....sorry but im gonna post from everyones point of view before i go to Spencer's and Ashley's again ok. Starting with AIDEN**

XXX

I'm pacing the room that Spencer is in. I just visited Ashley. How is it the two girls I care about most are in the hospital?

"Aiden sit, there's nothing we can do." I hear Chelsea say.

"I can't there has to be something, anything! I know there is!" I yell. I look at Spencer's face again, she has to make it, for Ashley's sake, she has to make it! Spencer was the only other person that got Ashley the way I did and even though it hurts to see them so in love I wouldn't want her to die, not like this, not at this age.

"Aiden, please just calm down. Everything will be ok." Clay said. Neither of them were helping I just needed to do something, anything. Something productive that would help both Spencer and Ashley. Why won't Spencer just wake up already?

"Spencer! Come on Spencer. Wake up! Ashley needs you! Please!" I yell in front of her. Glenn pulls me away forcefully and I feel tears coming down my face.

"I need you." I whisper.

"Aiden cut it out! This isn't going to help." Glenn yells. I turn away from him, away from everyone. I can't look at them. I can't look at anything, I just need Spencer to wake up. I need to see her eyes be as bright as they are when she's with Ashley because when her eyes are bright, Ashley's are even brighter. I can't take standing here doing nothing any longer, I had to do something, maybe Ashley needs me. Yeah, I'll go see her maybe she's awake. I storm out of the hospital room and rush over to Ashley's she as to be awake I don't know what I'll do if she's not. Before I enter the room a nurse comes out and smiles at me.

"She's awake now." is all she says before she walks off. My feet are stuck, throat dry, arms weighted down. Frozen. Finally letting air into my lungs I take a step forward and enter her room. She looks at me, weak and tired, sad yet hopeful.

"Aiden, what happened?" She asks me her voice raspier than usual. I step up closer to her bed, stare at her, too happy to speak. Overjoyed that she's ok.

"Aiden?"

"Oh um you went into shock when you and Kyla drove to the carlin's house." I explain. She scrunches her eyebrows and looks around.

"I don't remember anything Aiden. I don't get it. Whose Kyla? Who are the Carlin's? Why would I go into shock?" She asks. Now I'm confused, did she really forget what happened? How could she forget Spencer? Or Kyla?

"Ash, you don't remember?" She shook her head.

"Last thing I remember is the pregnancy test. It was positive. Is that it? Did I go into shock telling a friend about it?" She really didn't remember. I took her hand squeezed it once.

"I'll be right back." I tell her walking away.

"What no goodbye kiss?" I turn around. Should I? Spencer wouldn't know and Ashley wants it. Stepping towards her I think about it and finally I reach her, lean down, linger a little still contemplating it in my head working out the plus and minuses, and then I peck her forehead, keep my head so close to hers and quickly peck her lips.

"Be right back." I repeat before leaving the room.


	21. Chapter 21

**ok for the ppl still confused this is wat has happened so far (if u get lost READ CHAPTER 17 OVER AGAIN I THINK THAT IS WAT CAUSED SO MUCh CONFUSEION) anyways so ash n spence were on the boat suddenly spence passed out, ash thought she died. next scene is Ashley having kyla waking her up. ashley thinks wat had happened was a dream**

**it wasn't**

**so then ash n kyla go to the carlins and ash goes into shock wen they reach the house**

**arthur takes her to the hospital and now both spencer and ashley are in the hospital**

**aiden is getting all annoyed cus he cant do anything t help goes to ashleys room to check up on her she wakes up and can't remember anything up until she had taken the pregnancy test with Aiden and thought they were still together.**

**if ur still lost i dnt no wat to tell u ok oh and spencer passed out because of an old medical problem she had wen she was little im gonna explain that later on in the story ok! if ur still confused send me a ersonal message asking ur question and then i will answer them ok**


	22. Chapter 22

**Ok Now we are in Chelsea's point of view. Sorry it took so long for an update i jsut got writers block again! I no i say it a lot but it happens a lot to me since i have so many stories! And i was thinking about starting a new one but this time have a co writer. soooo yea if ur interested send me a personal message saying that you would like to aaannnddd ill reply lol enjoy!**

**CHELSEA'S POV**

I can't believe this is happening. Spencer in a hospital? Ashley too, its just too hard to grasp. I look over at Clay, he looks so vulnerable, so scared. Intertwining our fingers, I kiss the back of his hand.

"You ok?" I ask him. He doesn't say anything, just nods his head and continues to stare at Spencer. Glenn is doing the same and Arthur, he's just pacing the room.

"Mr. Carlin, I uh, Ashley, she's awake and…but she…." Aiden says entering the room. He seems a little rushed and on edge, but not saddened. In fact he seems excited.

"Aiden slow down, what happened?" Arthur said in a calm voice. Aiden took a breathe before answering again.

"Its Ashley she doesn't remember anything, or well she remembers up until we found out about the pregnancy test being positive. She thinks that her and I are still dating." Aiden finished. Arthur went pale, he knew that if Ashley didn't remember Spencer then Spencer would be devastated.

"Alright just relax and I'll go find Paula, we'll figure everything out." Arthur said rushing out of the room. Aiden seemed to still be in a daze, he wasn't really moving, and I couldn't tell if he was smiling or not.

"Aiden are you ok?" I ask him. He doesn't respond either only looks my way and nods just like Clay. And that's when it happens, a faint whimper heard from the bed. Then movement. It was happening, Spencer was waking up. We heard her mumble something incoherent and we all watched in shock as she began to sit up. Glenn was the first to her side, then Clay then Aiden and I.

"Spencer. Spencer you ok?" Glenn asked. Spencer nodded her eyes closed.

"Yeah I think so. Where's Dad?" She asked. Glenn smiled at the question, I guessed it was a typical Spencer question.

"He'll be back, do you remember what happened?" We watched her look at every person before answering, her eyebrows scrunched.

"Not really, last thing I remember is being at Grandpa's farm, riding the horses." Spencer said. Glenn's face grew pale and Clay hung his head. I looked over at Aiden and I couldn't shake the feeling that he was relieved. Like a weight was lifted off him, he sighed and hung his head as well.

"Clay go get dad please." Glenn said, he seemed furious, something in his head was really eating away at him. Clay left still not saying a word. I still didn't understand what was going on, Arthur tried to explain it to me earlier. Something about how when Spencer was really little she hit her head really hard, I don't remember on what, I was zoning, but he said that as she grew up there was always a chance she could pass out or even die if the blood got clotted. He didn't say anything about her memory being lost.

"Spencer, don't worry ok, Clay's getting dad and he'll know what to do." Glenn said taking his sisters hand. No matter how he treated her he did love her, that was obvious. Spencer looked confused as hell though. I couldn't imagine what she must be going through, to not know who me or Aiden were, to have two strangers starring at you with just a gown on. I don't think I could take it. Within a few minutes Paula and Arthur come into the room.

"Spencer, honey, are you ok?" Paula asked. She moved some hair out of Spencer's face.

"I'm fine mom just a little confused. Who are they?" She asked nodding towards us. I felt my heart sink, it hurt for her to say that, in a way, Ashley was lucky that she didn't remember anything about Spencer, then she wouldn't have to go through the grief of knowing Spencer forgot her.

"You don't remember sweetie?" Paula asked. Spencer only shook her head in embarrassment.

"Ok, well I'll explain everything later ok, just sit tight for a bit while I go check on Ashley." Spencer looked confused again but nodded.


	23. Chapter 23

**Woo hoo lol for some reason my other story In The Dark isnt getting as much reviews but then again its not my typical story...but anyways my point is that i love to read the reviews and its what keeps me wanting to write so yea THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! I hope you all have such a great Christmas or Chanukah/Hanukah (whihever way you spell it yourself i know that theres two wyas so yea) or Kwanza. Honestly i don't know anyone that celebrates that but if you do plz tell me wat its like id live to learn about it!!!**

**Ok well enjoy this nxt post. and i no i said i was going to go through everyones pov but that just got boring so we're going to be in Ashley's POV right now.**

Its been a week since I was in the hospital, a week since I had seen Aiden, a week since I found out that I lost the baby, and a week since I found out I lost my memory. A whole week that felt like a whole year. I've been stuck in my house for a week, with my sister helping me. Sister, when did I get a sister. I had so many questions for her and she kept dodging them, only responding with

"I can't doctor's orders." Screw the doctors! Screw Pauline or whatever her name was. I need to know who I am. Nothing has been making sense. The last thing Aiden said to me was that he thought it would be better if we stayed away from each other. What the hell. He gets me pregnant says he'll be here for me no matter what and then leaves when I need him most. Whatever screw him too.

I'm sick of being in this house though, I have studied every picture to try and get the smallest memory back that I could. But of course I had barely any pictures, my closet only held boxes of clothes along with hangers full of them.

I decide that it would be best for me if I got out of the house, so, getting off the floor and walking away from the pile of pictures I did have I walked to my closet. There were plenty of things I could wear but none of them I wanted to wear. All the shirts were cut mid drift and the last thing I wanted to show was my stomach, not after finding out I lost probably the single one most important thing to me. So instead I search through half the closet and could only find a select few shirts that covered my entire stomach.

It was a gray t-shirt with some graphic design on it, over that a black vest that tied in the back by a purple ribbon like material. I figured my legs looked good so instead of covering them up I picked up a skirt that had black graffiti on it and three chains to the side. Other than that I didn't have any accessories and for shoes I just slipped on some flip-flops.

I trampled down the stairs happy because I knew Kyla was out with one of her friends. She mentioned it yesterday so of course I plotted what I would do today. Before stepping out of the door I went to the kitchen to grab a water. Guess who was now standing a mere foot away from me. Aiden. Aiden, the boy who wanted to stay away from me was now in my house. This makes sense how?

"What are you doing here?" I ask bluntly. His eyes seem frozen, his whole body seems frozen. That was until he spoke.

"Kyla wanted me to watch over you while she was out with Madison." He backed away slightly. I couldn't really respond with attitude, I was stuck myself, lost in his eyes. I tried to look away, tried to run, but I couldn't. He had a hold on me.

"Oh," was all I got out before brushing past him and grabbing a water out of the fridge.

"That's it?" He asked me as I walked away. My anger was rising, I didn't want him here. That was a lie, I did. He was the only thing that made sense to me. The only thing that my mind was aloud to wonder to. The only thing that made me feel safe to think about.

"What do you want me to say?" I retort with more attitude. He looked a little taken aback at my sudden risen voice but spoke anyways.

"I don't know, just something." He responded his eyes looking like a kicked puppy. This confused me and angered me more.

"You said that it would be better if we stayed apart and then I come down MY stairs in MY house to see you here? What am I supposed to say to that? Oh hello, nice day huh, oh by the way didn't you say not to come near me even though you got me pregnant, yeah I thought so, so lets watch a movie." My mouth poured all these words and I didn't even know if I was making sense. I was just so angry and annoyed. He had no right to play victim. His head turned to the side slightly and I could tell he was thinking about something. He stepped up to me and was soon right in front of me. I couldn't move, mistakenly I looked in his eyes.

"I take it back." He said.


	24. Chapter 24

**Ok i know a lot of ppl hate Aiden but come on take a look at his point of view. Here is this girl that is the one girl he fell in love with, like deeply in love with. She can only remember that the two of them were dating. Her GF doesn't remember either, and he sees this as his only chance to be with the one he loves. Plus he's a man what do you expect him to do? lol jk...wel sorta lol heres more consider all these posts like an early Chrismtas/Chanakuh/Hanakuh/Kwanza present**

The sun woke me up from my third nap of the day. There just wasn't anything better to do. Sure I would love to be playing outside with m brothers, or even hanging out with my new friends. Even though I had to take in a lot yesterday I still wanted to try and remember things and sitting in my room going through photos and music wasn't ringing and bells. I looked over at a picture of grandpa I put up the other day. I hated not remembering his death, I hated not remembering the last things I said to him. I hated everything right now. I hated that my family was being so distant and weird. I hated that hearing my dad say I love you felt like he was saying something more, that something more being something I haven't figured out yet. I sat up in my bed and smoothed out my hair. Thought. Then finally decided to go downstairs.

"Hey Spence." My dad said in the kitchen. That I do remember. He was always in the kitchen, always coming up with a new concoction. It was entertaining. I sat at the bar to watch his new masterpiece.

"Hey. What are you making?" I ask him. He smiled up at me.

"Just something for the barbeque tomorrow." This took me by surprise. Why hadn't I known about this? How come no one told me? Who was coming? Would I know all of them? My dad must have noticed my worry and confusion because he took my hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Hey it'll be alright, this is to help you and Ashley ok, and we really want to help you both, so why not have fun while doing so?" He said with a sweet smile. I get where he's coming from but if he wanted to help he would know that this was a bad idea. I mean why would I enjoy being embarrassed in front of so many people. I wouldn't be able to remember there names or anything. Like that Kayla girl. I barely knew her. Ashley, I still don't know what to make of her, she seemed a little weird to me. But at least with her she seemed familiar, or I thought she did. Maybe it was just my desperation to remember something that made me think I remembered her. Then there was that guy Alex. I think. See if I can't remember there names now what makes my family think that I will remember them by tomorrow. Sighing I step off of the stool and step out front. The only bit of outside I was aloud to go to was the backyard and the front yard. I hated the backyard. It was so empty, nothing in the back made it look like a family occupied the house. But we did. I'm here, whether I know who I am or not I'm still here. I still get to voice my opinion right. My thoughts were making my head hurt and I was getting tired for the fourth time today. I wish someone would give me a hint. But no one would. The only thing I was told was that Grandpa was dead and that my parents moved us to L.A. I guess that was pretty cool. I mean I was in probably the biggest known city in America. My phone began to vibrate in my pocket and I looked at the caller ID.

"Chris" it read. I smiled at the familiar name and flipped my phone open.

"Hey." I say happily into the phone. I heard him smile on the other end.

"Hey are you ok? Glenn told me what happened. I'm so sorry. I'm flying up to take care of you. I don't care what you say." I begin to laugh. This boy was the best boyfriend any girl could have, but things happened and he broke up with me, he had good reasons, and we stayed friends. It made me happy that he still cared so much about me.

"I'm fine, don't be sorry, I can't wait for you to fly up, and why would you think I would object?" I asked. I listened to him chuckle on the other end.

"It's really nice to hear your voice Spence." This confused me.

"What we don't talk anymore?" He sighed.

"Not really but hey maybe that'll change." His voice seemed very thrilled but at its deep regular tone.

"Of course it will." I tell him. And so began the longest phone conversation I can remember having in a long time.


	25. Chapter 25

**Ok ya'll are gonna hate me but trust me its all worth it!!! i promise!!!**

Aiden's lips suddenly crash against mine. A feeling I've missed. It feels like I haven't kissed him in years. I was sure I wasn't dating anyone, Aiden was the only boy I truly dated, I didn't date, it wasn't my thing, with girls or guys. I was never good at it. Aiden changed that for me. He made me feel whole. I felt his body begin to put more pressure on me and I backed up a little to catch my balance but never breaking the kiss. I could feel his anticipation, feel his fear, it was all in the way he kissed, he was holding back. I knew it. But at the same time I didn't mind, he was being more gentle, something he wasn't before. He pulled back smiling me doing the same. I missed his muscles, missed his warmth. Missed everything about him.

"You know you really should try and stay away from me. There could be consequences in the end." He told me. I chuckled up at him and hugged him.

"I missed you Aiden. I don't know why but it's like I was gone for years." I admit. His warm comforting arms cover me and I sigh in content. This is how things were supposed to be. Easy and simple. Life wasn't always so hard. At least not as hard as some people make it out to be.

"It's ok, you have me now. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." He whispers to me. This feeling is all so surreal. Its almost too perfect, but I don't dwell on it, I just figure God is giving me a break for once. I feel his arms pull away from me.

"Hey, how about I take you out. I know you're dieing being stuck in this house no matter how big it is." He was right, this house was huge but it seemed so small when you knew it so well. I nodded with a smile and kissed him one last time before he led me to the door.

"Where's your car?" I ask him only seeing a red and white motorcycle.

"Your looking at it." He said with a smile. I scoffed.

"When did you get one of these?" He only shrugged.

"Not too long ago, now come on, I'm STARVING" He said overdramatically. It made me laugh that he would pretend to faint from being so famished.

"You are always hungy." I said with a smile hopping on the back of the motorcycle.

"How do you know?" He asked matter-of-factly. I punched him playfully and he laughed starting up the bike and speeding off to wherever he was taking me. I have to admit, riding on a motorcycle was kinda fun, I'm thinking about getting one myself.

"Here we are!" He said taking off his helmet and holding his hand out for mine. I looked u at where he had stopped and laughed.

"McDonalds really? You know how fattening this place is?" he scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"They have salads," He paused before adding.

"They just fry the lettuce." we shared a laugh and walked into the restaurant.

"I'll take a big Mac and for the lady a southern style chicken sandwich." Aiden said nearly reading my mind. It made me smile that he knew me so well. We took our seats and began to talk, me feeling like I was falling in love with him all over again. He was sweet, funny, kind. I couldn't believe that he was a jock. I remembered thinking that when he first asked me out. I laughed at myself. It was amazing how he made me feel like I wasn't alone, like I wasn't crazy or borderline insane. He made me feel like I could be me and not care, like I could show who I really was and open up without people waiting knife in hand. I enjoyed his company, enjoyed his jokes, I even enjoyed his sloppiness. We both laughed when a large tomato slid from the burger and was hanging half way out of his mouth. This felt right to me, almost familiar, like it happened before. Maybe it did, maybe the whole point of him taking me here was for me to remember what had happened after we lost the baby. Remembering that didn't hurt as much after Aiden explained that he was always there. That was one of the first things we talked about when we sat down. I couldn't get over how good this felt. I hoped he would do this more often, make a fool out of himself just so I felt better.


	26. Chapter 26

**Eeek im excited lol not only did i get exactly wat i wanted for xmas but i also love my newest post its not this one but the next one with ashley. but this one is good too lol ENJOY**

My room is becoming slightly more familiar, I'm able to remember where some of my belongings are without knowing how. I thought maybe if I listened to my C.D.'s it would unlock some kind of memory, but none had worked. One of them I didn't recognize as much as the others. It was a female voice doing these covers of songs but I couldn't pin the voice on anyone. Her voice was beautiful whom ever it was.

Instead of dwelling on not remembering anything I got changed for the barbeque today.

The one I wanted to not attend, but its kind of hard to avoid your own house. Especially when you didn't have anywhere else to go. So instead I put on a blue and white stripped long sleeve shirt. It was comfortable, felt safe. Didn't show too much. And with that I wore a pair of jeans with a pair of flip-flops. This was a casual event right. I can go out wearing non expensive clothing. Can't I?

"Spencer your friends are here!" Arthur yelled from the stairs. My friends? Which ones? I was a little more excited to see the painter, Clay's girlfriend, she was really sweet and the only one that made me feel like it was ok that I couldn't remember anything. Hoping it was her that was here I trotted down the steps with as good of a smile I could fake.

"Hey Spencer." It was Kyla. I remember her name because Glenn gave me a run down earlier, god bless his heart.

"Hi. Where's Ashley?" I ask. Oddly she smiles at me and says that Ashley is going to be a little late. I nodded and headed towards the backyard to avoid any awkward conversations with her.

"Hey dad, what are you making?" He looks me over with a smile, I think he's contemplating going over in detail what it is exactly or to just give me the basics. But I like when he goes into detail, he knew that I found food interesting, me and him would watch the food network challenges all the time.

"Well Spencer I am making an exquisite sandwich called the California Grilled Veggie Sandwich." He said proudly.

"Complete with garlic, bell peppers, red onion, mayonnaise, lemon juice, olive oil, zucchini, squash, and my favorite kinda cheese, Feta." He finished. I smiled at his enthusiasm. He was so passionate with his meals. I sighed and looked around the yard hoping to find something to do but nothing came to mind. We had a fairly large back yard bigger than the one in Ohio, but then again this was nothing compared to the grandpa's barn. It was nice though, we had a bad mitten net set up, my dad made a spot for horse-shoe throwing. My mom even put out some water guns knowing how childish Glenn got. There was also a tub of water balloon. I chuckled. I couldn't get over how well mom knew Glenn.

"Hey Spencer." I heard Aiden say behind me. I turn around and see him and Ashley.

"Oh hi um Aiden right?" He seemed a little offended but smiled anyway.

"Yea. How are you feeling?" I flash him a fake smile and tell him "Not to bad. Still a little confused."

"God I know how you feel." Ashley blurted out. I smile. At least I knew she understood how I feel. I mean I didn't feel as alone now. Aiden looked uneasy, like he was worried about something but I just shrugged it off and went back into the house to see Glenn struggling with a small TV. I swear the boy lived off of television. Of course he put the basketball game on and sat at the table.

"Whose playing?" I heard Aiden asked before I entered the house completely. This was too much for me. All these people at the same time intruding my home, expecting so much out of me. I didn't think I could take it so I did what made sense. I ran to my room. Tried to find one thing in there that made sense, that didn't make me feel like I was insane, didn't make me feel so alone.


	27. Chapter 27

**Ok so Latin Princess that was soo nice of you lol i love getting reviews like that, that say more than pms. i really hope you enjoy this post!!!**

I'm just staring at this girl that randomly showed up in my room. She was sweet but I wished she would leave, I looked like hell, I was sure and I didn't want her to think I was a slob. After she looked at that picture I'm sure she thought I was a freak. Why would I be staring at a picture with her kissing me. I should look away, I want to look away, but I can't I'm too entranced by her eyes. They were so deep and exotic. A dark brown with tints of gold in some places. She was beautiful. I tried not to laugh when I heard her gasp for air. I had noticed she stopped breathing a second before she did.

"So," I said breaking the silence. She didn't respond, she seemed so concentrated on something. So deep in thought. I noticed my lips tingled a little, my heart felt like it was stopping and then speeding to catch up my circulatory system. Involuntary my lips parted and I noticed she had moved, only slightly, but she moved. Her body shifted and she was now leaning on her arm. My eyes flickered over her body quick enough for me to see all of her and also still have her eyes still on me. She moved again, only this time it was her other arm. It came towards me and I didn't flinch. I let her touch me. My hair had apparently fallen in my face and she moved it back behind my ears where it was before, her knuckles grazing my cheek. I wanted to touch her in return. I didn't know why but I did. Every inch of my body was hot with want. Lust. I needed to touch her. Needed to feel her skin on me again. Her eyes then began to race around the room apparently realizing something.

"Wait, um" She stammered standing up. I didn't understand her sudden urgency but it only made me stand too.

"Are you ok?" I asked. She looked back at me her body seeming to freeze again. Her mouth opened again but nothing came out. I could tell she was trying to speak but she wasn't. I didn't move either, afraid that she would move away, or turn her head. I needed her eyes though.

"Ashley? What's wrong? You're scaring me. Are you ok?" I tell her. Her head shakes slightly, snapping herself out of her daydream state.

"I'm sorry, I just…I don't know what happened." Se told me. It didn't make sense but I took her hand and guided her back to the bed sitting her down.

"just sit, if you want you can even lie down." I tell her. Her eyes were fixated on our hands. I had yet to let go.

"Sorry," I say quickly retreating my hand. Her eyes rush to mine.

"Sit with me." She orders, but almost in a pleading manner. I listen and sat next to her, her gaze never leaving my face and vice versa.

I felt a chill run down my back and tried my best to hide my shudder. She went to push hair behind my ear again only, I had none in my face. There was no visible strand of hair hanging in my view or tickling my skin. But still her hand came and her fingers glided against my skin, behind my ear and tangled themselves in my hair, easily gliding out as well. Again my lips involuntarily parted just like before, she moved just like before but it was a different movement, she was leaning forward. I figured she was just trying to get more comfortable. Maybe her back was stiffening. Her eyes flickered, I barely had time to notice to where they moved to but the next time they did it was slower and lingered more on where they were concentrated. I wanted to run, maybe scream. But then again I didn't. I wanted to stay, let her eyes focus on my lips let her face move closer to mine. As if reading my mind she did. Her face slowly inched closer, her hand came back up gently running through my hair just like before only faster. She quickly did it again and I was so focused on her fingers that I hadn't noticed how exceedingly close her face was now to mine compared to mere seconds before.


	28. Chapter 28

My gasp must have been funny to her because I saw her lips twitch slight no doubt trying to stop a laugh.

I heard her speak but I was still frozen, her eyes had such a hold on me.

I noticed her lips barely parted and it only made me more curious as to what she was thinking.

I wanted to know as much as I could about her.

I needed to know anything about her.

I could ask questions but my lips were moving and even if they had I highly doubt words would come out.

Instead I only shifted my weight.

I wanted more of her.

I didn't know what that meant but it ran through my head a million times.

Her eyes moved but mine didn't even with the quick absent of blue I was unable to move, unable to think correctly.

I noticed some of her hair fell in front of her face.

This was when I could finally move.

I gently placed it back feeling her skin on my fingers again.

It was hypnotizing how good she felt.

I realized what that want for more was.

I wanted to kiss her so badly.

Too take her then and there.

My thoughts raced and I stood up abruptly.

I tried to explain myself, tried to tell her why I was acting the way I was.

I had apparently frightened her.

I didn't mean to.

She was so caring.

Gently she took my hand and made me sit back down on her bed.

My eyes weren't focused on the bed.

I was too concentrated on our hands, how well they fit to me.

When she noticed me starring she yanked her away.

She apologized for something tat didn't need one.

My eyes went right back to her ocean blue orbs.

"Sit with me." I say meaning it to come out more as an offer not a demand.

She did as she was told and sat right next to me.

I noticed her quiver slightly.

I couldn't take it.

I needed to feel her again.

I went to run my fingers through her hair but did it slower than I had meant to.

Her lips parted again, and I figured this was my chance.

I leaned forward my eyes quickly racing to her lips and back to her eyes.

After a second or too I let them travel back to her lips, let them take in the beauty of them, let my hunger build up more in me.

I moved my face closer to hers and again ran my fingers through her hair.

She seemed a little surprised so I stopped in my tracks but didn't pull away.

I kept my position.

When her eyes seemed less scared and even darkened slightly I began to move in closer again.

My heart pounded.

I was scared but I knew that I wanted to know what it was like to kiss her.

I had kissed girls before, this was no different.

Just kissing a girl for the experience. But yet it was different, in every way.

Unlike the other girls with Spencer there was longing not lust of the heat of the moment.

It was something I really wanted.

My thoughts stopped when I could feel her breath on my lips.

I looked up into her eyes and she was looking back at me no readable expression on her face.

I continued through and our lips touched ever so gently.

I didn't want to scare her away.

I felt her lips twitch and pulled away so I could see her eyes but not too far so I could still go back in and kiss her.

Her eyes were closed, her breathing calmer almost.

I smiled and went back to kiss her again this time feeling her lips move.

I didn't pull away this time. My hand was now on her neck, my mouth opening wider than the first few kisses as was hers and she was leaning backwards on her bed.

I let my other hand wander to her waist.

Her hand rested on mine when it reached her hip.

I smiled into the kiss.

She did too and when her back finally hit the bed I pulled away.

Her eyes were still closed and I kissed her one last time only this one I held out a lot longer than the other.

A good minute or two.

Pulling away for the last time I waited for her eyes to open.

When they did she was smiling.

Thank god. I was afraid she was going to freak out on me. It was weird, to kiss someone you barely knew, but at the same time I felt like I knew her a lifetime.

Like she was with me since I was born. It felt like she knew everything about me, and I was ok with that because I knew that it was the same with her.


	29. Chapter 29

**I'm so glad you guys are liking it. And I'm making sure that I take this scene so slow to capture every moment and thought and feeling that i think would go through them. I want to be through to prepare for what happens next. Enjoy!!**

I felt Ashley's lips just barely graze mine and instantly my eyes close out of reflex. My mind is blank. I couldn't think of a single thing to do. She could have completely taken advantage of me at this moment and I wouldn't do anything.

I felt the warmth of her face leave mine for a moment and then return within a few seconds. I remembered how to kiss this time around. Our lips moved in perfect harmony her hand moved to my neck and rested there gently not putting any pressure on it. Our kisses still slow but our mouths open a bit wider than when we had started.

I started to lean back wanting to feel her whole warmth on me. I felt her other hand shift soon after making its way to my waist and when I felt it rest on my hip mine was soon atop hers stroking it at first, then my mind got too preoccupied with kissing Ashley that the placements of her hands were soon forgotten. My whole back was now on the bed and instead of covering me she lifted herself up to do god knows what.

I didn't care what she was doing I was too far in a blissful state at the moment. I felt her come back down and kiss me one last time but longer, with more emotion, and very tender. No one had ever kissed me like this, or at least no one I remembered. When she pulled away i figured she was done that last kiss being the grand finale. I opened my eyes, saw her deep dark mysterious brown eyes and smiled up at her. Not a huge smile but big enough to show her that I didn't hate her for kissing me. In fact I wish she would kiss me again. There was always the fact that I could just pull her back down and kiss her first, but I wasn't one to take charge.

She seemed to be back in that deep thought stage again. Off in her own world of her own thoughts and wonders. I began to sit myself up so I could lean on my arms. Her body sat up completely still on me, straddling me. I needed to touch her again. My hand cupped her cheek with no intentions other than to just feel the warmth of her skin but got more than I had intended. She leaned forward kissing me again. I smiled as she pulled away and rested her head on mine. I didn't want her to stop kissing me though, I loved the taste of her lips. I swooped my head back down and pecked her lips again hoping she would understand what I wanted her to do. She seemed to get it for she laughed but she pulled away completely.

"I'd love to," She said taking my hand that was still on her cheek and kissing it.

Whoa, déjà vu.

"But we really should get back to that barbeque, I'm sure someone is looking for us." She says. I sigh and nod which makes her giggle. Her nose crinkled and I swear I've seen it before. I probably have since she was my best friend. Whoa…I just kissed my best friend…did we do this often? Did we know how we felt about each other. All thoughts were lost when I felt her lips on mine again.

"I thought," I managed to breathe out.

"Just a few more seconds." She mumbled before kissing me again.

"Seconds?" I asked pulling away. I didn't want seconds, I wanted minutes, hours if it were possible.

"Spence, we have to get back eventually." She said with a smile, her fingers slipped under my palm and we laced our fingers. I looked down at them smiling. I don't think I've ever felt so happy.

"But if we start now I know I won't be able to stop." I tell her. She laughed.

"You sound like a Pringles spoke person." I laughed too and shoved her.

"Hey!" She shoved back and we ended up in a playful wrestle match on my bed. I was pinned my arms above my head her hands gripping them. She leaned down close to my face.

"This would be so much hotter with handcuffs." She told me before kissing my neck. I laughed loudly. She was right though. We did have to go back at some point.


	30. Chapter 30

Spencer was the gentlest kisser I've known. I'm sure of it. She's sweet and tender, and oh so amazing. Sure I felt bad for Aiden, but it wasn't like I was _cheating_, cheating, I mean it was someone of a different sex. And there goes my mind. We had finally gotten enough composure to get off the bed and come downstairs and yet my mind was still up at the bed, wishing we had gone farther. My body ached with temptation. I just wanted to go back to that bed lock the door and, no enough. I had to think of something else, something that didn't involve Spencer or her lips. Or her long legs leading up to.

"Ashley?" I jumped at my name.

"Yeah?" I asked. I didn't even know who was speaking.

"You ok?" It was the artist girl. Chelsea.

"Huh?" My eyes never left Spencer's body and I'm sure she noticed.

"Ashley." I heard her call again, I tried my best to take my eyes away from the blond. But she was provoking a little bit. Laying down in the grass in her bathing suit, exposing so much skin. She was so beautiful in the sun the light shining down on her. Her hair a little wet from the water balloon her brother had thrown at her. I heard Chelsea call my name again. I wish she would stop and let me stare, let me gaze upon pure goddess beauty. But I had to take my eyes off of her.

"Ash, be careful, you stare too long and your eyes might melt." She says standing up with a sly smile. I giggle and turn my head back to Spencer finding that she was now looking at me. I smiled at her wider than before happy for the attention she was giving me. I curled my legs up and under me getting more comfortable so I could stare longer.

"Ashley." Yet another interruption. "Yes." I say looking up. It was Arthur.

"You hungry? I don't think I've seen you eat yet today." He said. He was right I hadn't eaten all day, and I was kinda hungry.

"Um yea sure where's the food?"

"I'll get it don't worry, hamburger?" I nodded.

"With cheese please. And thank you." I say to him. He smiled and looked up.

"How bout you Spence?" I look in front of me in shock. There she was standing a few inches from me smiling.

"I'll have the same dad. Thanks." She said. She looked down at me with a smile.

"What?" I asked her a little worried about her suspicious behavior. Her smile only grew and next thing I knew water was pouring down my body. I squealed, to far in shock to for words other than ah, oh and ooh. That sneak got up when I wasn't looking and grabbed a water balloon to splash over my head. She was going to pay.

"Spencer," I manage to say. Her face went white, I must have really scared her.

"You had better run." I said changing my stance into a running one ready to chase after her as soon as she darted. She did as she was told and ran as quickly as she could and me, I detoured to the water gun laying on the grass, conveniently full with water. Spencer's squealing as I shoot her with water. This was Glenn's old gun and he had put freezing cold water in it before.

"Ash!" She yelled and I smiled and kept spraying until the force died out.

"That's what'cha get." I say resting the gun on my shoulder like Angelina Jolie in the Tomb Raider. She was smiling and walked towards me; I got my weapon ready. She reached me; my gun pointed firmly at her. She looked straight in my eyes; my gun was gone. She cupped my cheek; all eyes were on us. Again I squealed as I felt another blast of water come from behind me and watched as Spencer began to have a fit of laughter. I quickly turn and see Glen behind me laughing as well.

"Oh it's on!" I yell before shooting Glenn. I felt childish, playing with water guns. But at the same time, I enjoyed it. I got to see Spencer smile, got to see the child side of her. Even got to flirt with her. But deep down I knew it wasn't going end so well. I knew I had to tell Aiden what had happened upstairs. I mean whether I considered it cheating or not he still deserved to know right.


	31. Chapter 31

It was starting to get dark out and I knew that the barbeque was going to have to end soon. I wished it could go on for just a bit longer, surprisingly. That moment upstairs the reason why I didn't freak out, was because it felt so natural, the intensity of the situation was different but the actual events. They came perfectly natural for me. I started to help clean up the table and was bumped into by the tall buff guy. I had already forgotten his name, but then again he hadn't really tried to talk with me. Kyla and I had a discussion on musicals. Chelsea and I talked about Clay. But Ashton…was that his name? Anyway he didn't really come up to me.

"Hey," I heard her whisper in my ear. Yes her, her. The girl that had been interrupting my thoughts more than anyone I could ever remember. I could feel the goose bumps form on my arms as I felt her fingers run up my arm and then her warm palm finding its way to my shoulder.

"Since the party is almost over you think we could go back upstairs and get a few more seconds in?" She asked resting her chin on her hand, which rested on my shoulder. I smiled, I wanted to kiss her in front of everyone which brought up another question. Who all knew that we liked each other?

"Spence?" She called stepping away from me. I quickly turn around.

"Yeah, we can just let me finish up here ok." I said with a smile. Her face brightened and she winked as she walked back inside.

"Thank you Spencer." My dad said coming up from behind me. I smiled up at him.

"Dad, what's mine and Ashley's history? Like how did we meet, or when did I start to," I paused the sentence stuck in my throat. What if he didn't know, we were a very religious family. He looked at me curiously and smiled again.

"Like her?" He finished for me. I blushed, I felt like a child acting so timid in front of my own father.

"Yeah." He sighed.

"Spencer, I would love to help you remember things but you heard the doctor, you have to figure things out for yourself." He told me. I nodded upset that he didn't answer.

"But, if I had to guess I would have to say right after you met her, that's when I noticed how bright your face would get, how happy you were when she called." He told me. Was he cheating the system? Did he know and was telling me through a guess? I smiled up at him again thanking him for answering my question the best he could. I finished cleaning and rushed up to my room excited to see the brunette with those hypnotic chocolate eyes, luscious lips that tasted like strawberries. When I enter my room I find Ashley sitting at my desk looking at the pictures I had pulled out hours ago. She looked so concentrated on them. I could try she wanted to remember so badly, she wanted the pieces of her back. The floor creaked as I walked towards her but she didn't move. It was then that I noticed she was listening to my I-pod. I smiled. She looked so cute in her chair, studying, bobbing her head to the beat of my music. When I looked at the pictures she was staring at I noticed that they were the ones that I was hiding. There were ones of us kissing. One of them was us at the beach smiling widely. Another was us at the park on the swings. I had so many pictures of us that I didn't want to see. They confused me and for some reason when I looked at them I wanted to cry.

"Ashley," I said over her shoulder. She heard me this time.

"Oh sorry, I was just looking," She paused standing up.

"Do you mind?" She asked pointing to the pictures. I smiled and shook my head.

"Not at all, in fact there's more," I walked over t my closet and pulled out a box full of photos.

"maybe if we look at them together we can make sense out of all of this." I tell her placing the box on the bed. She looked up at me as if she were sad. She was, a tear fell down her cheek and I didn't understand what had just happened.

"Ashley?" She looked away from me not saying a word until she stood up.

"I have to go." And she was gone


	32. Chapter 32

ok all done

im done with this site

screw u people

and for the ones who want to know

ashley lost her mem. because of the shock and her mind went back to remebering when she felt the most happy

spencer lost her mem from an early injury from the bump on the head

that is a real cause i looked it up online for those of you who want to fuck me over

and wat i planne don happeneing nex was ashley be with aiden for awhile

sell tell him out kiss

he dont care

kyla find out about aiden and ashley

spence and ash keep hooking up

aiden finds out about that

"dumps" ashley

ash is upset

and eventually her n spence get back together

there you go the story without all that messed up stuff that apparently caused you misery

goodbye

and no i do not plan on writing anymore stories on here because ppl dont seem to understand what FICTION means.

let me tell you tho its novels and stories that describe imaginary people and events; something that is untrue and has been made up to deceive people; to make something into fiction, or make a fictional version of something

see ther you go ITS FAKE I KNOW A DOCTOR WOULD SAY HELP THE FUCKING PATIENT OUT BUT TO MAKE THE STORY THE WAY I WANTED I CHANGED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	33. Chapter 33

erg...

you guys break my heart with all your sweet reviews and nice comments eerrg.

now i have to come back...

just give me a breather i do have a new post that i was gonna post today but idk...

i have thinking to do...

sooo yea...

i guess maybe ill continue...

but the story was about to end in a few chapters...

i suppose i could write a prequal or sequal...

idk im still undecided but you all are such great fans and i love you all!

thank you for not letting me go!

i no im prolly the flakiest writer but its really hard for me to stick to something wen im constantly being told i cant do it.

but thank you all again


	34. Chapter 34

**here's a present for you all that helped me through my well scene..**

I couldn't do this, not again. Those pictures, were they real, you could forge pictures right? My feet are on autopilot, I don't know where I'm headed but apparently my feet do. They're making me run in random directions, curving left, twisting right, I've gone in numerous circles and I don't even know where. Aiden, how could I have done this to Aiden? He was always there, always knew how to fix e when I was broken. I don't understand. Those pictures were engraved in my head. I was kissing her, I enjoyed it yes but was I dating Aiden at the time? Did he know?

When I looked up at where I was I found it was the worst part of town. I knew that I had to get out of here but stupid me wasn't paying attention to any signs that I had passed. I noticed a group of guys walk out of a store, past them were cars that drove slowly. It seemed safe at the moment, so naturally I stepped forward. I continued walking down the side walk desperate for a way out of this area. I know I should have gone back but I recognized this area enough to know that I had gone through predator central why risk going through it again. I noticed the three men had disappeared from before. Something didn't feel right. My stomach was churning, I knew I was about to be in major trouble. Of course when I reach for my phone I realize I left it on Spencer's desk. Why god, why me? When I saw the three men they were at there car putting chips and assorted snacks in it. Probably for a sports event. I continued to walk and gripped my arms. Maybe I should go back and ask them for a ride, they didn't scare me. There was no uneasy feeling when I looked at them. Then again looks could be deceiving. I looked behind me to see if they were still there and they were, there was also a guy in a hoodie. Great Ashley, you got yourself a stalker. I needed to get back over to the three men before they left. Quickly I dashed across the road and dodged a car having it honk at me. This got the three men's attention and they rushed to me.

"Are you alright?" They asked me. Thank god they were friendly.

"Yeah I am sorry, I just had an uneasy feeling about that guy behind me." I told them. I watched them look back to where I was as we walked closer to there car.

"I don't see anyone." One of them said. I looked back as well and notice the guy was gone, if there even was a guy. My mind could have been playing tricks on me right?

"Are you lost?" the tallest one asked. I nodded wondering if that was a good idea.

"You need a ride home?" another guy asked. I shook my head no finding that my voice was refusing to cooperate.

"If your sure." the last one asked. I nodded again and began to back away from them. I needed to get out of here and fast. I don't need another rerun of what just happened. I begin to dart across the street again and this time I don't almost get hit. A part of me wished that I had stayed at Spencer's. I needed someone that I felt safe with. Both Aiden and her were there. Someone please come and find me I pleaded in my head. I heard tires screech behind me and see a silver car pull up next to me.

"Ashley are you crazy!" It's like my prayers were answered.

"I'm sorry, I just, I don't know I had to get away, it was too much." I try to explain.

"Get in before someone snatches you please." His green eyes were pleading and worried.

"I'm sorry Aiden." I tell him as I got in the passenger seat.

"It's fine, please just be more careful next time." I wondered if now was a good time to tell him about Spencer. Before I could even make my mind up my mouth opened.

"I kissed Spencer." I blurted out. My body was trying to form a mutiny against my brain apparently.

"What?" He asked. He didn't sound too hurt, more just in shock.

"I'm sorry it was just heat of the moment, her eyes were just so…" I paused I couldn't think of a word, they were indescribable. Her eyes had no definition.

"It's fine Ashley really. I just, next time tell me beforehand so I can watch." He joked. I smiled at him and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you." I whisper to him. I watched his eyes glance my way before going back to the road.


	35. Chapter 35

That night I laid in my bed wondering, wishing I knew what Ashley's thoughts were before she ran out of the house. I wondered if it were me, I mean she was far too beautiful to like anyone as ordinary as I was. It was almost impossible. Turning on my side I looked at my clock. It flashed 11:07. I sighed. I had to get to sleep. I knew I needed it. My mom had planned a shopping spree tomorrow and if I were half asleep the whole time it would upset her. I didn't want that. I shut my eyes trying harder to concentrate of the exhaustion that was washing over me, but it didn't do anything. Concentrating wasn't what I needed. What I needed was answers, or at least some kind of closure that told me Ashley didn't hate me. I sighed, sat up, and thought. I wanted my memory back so badly, I would have traded anything to have it back. No. Scratch that. Not anything. I wouldn't ever give up Ashley. I could feel that deep down I needed her in my life. A buzzing came from my nightstand and my eyes flew wide opened as my arms flailed towards the phone. "Hello?" I nearly yelled.

"Spencer?"

"Yes." It was Ashley, I knew that raspy voice anywhere.

"It's Ashley."

"I know."

"Right caller ID." If only she knew.

"Did you need something?"

"I'm sorry, I probably woke you, it can wait."

"Ash, I wasn't asleep." there was a long pause before she spoke again.

"Oh, well, um, I wanted to apologize for before. It was just, too much I guess." Ashley murmured. I sighed unintentionally.

"Ok. You could have said something though."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"I forgive you Ashley, just next time warn me before you're going to chicken out." This got her to laugh and sigh.

"Ok, well I'll let you get some sleep."

"No." I said too quickly.

"No?" I struggled for an excuse but couldn't find one.

"Just…um…could you just…stay on the phone." I mumbled. I listened to her breathy laugh as she answered.

"Sure, Spence." I smiled and thanked her listening to her breathing slow while I'm sure mine did the same. I knew I was bound to fall asleep with my phone on but it didn't matter at the time. She was on the phone, she called me, that means she doesn't hate me right? I noticed a faint sound as the phone hung loosely from my hands and I pressed it closer to my ear to hear what sounded like Ashley singing. Her heavenly voice clouded my head with intoxicating words that could make anyone swoon. Subconsciously I whispered something to her and only after I said it did I want to take it back.

"What?" she asked in an almost shriek. I stammered stuck for things that I could have said but my mind drew a blank.

"I-I-I-" nothing came.

"Um Spencer, I…I have to go…but I will talk to you later." She made it sound more like a threatening promise than a polite way to end the phone call which in this case, wasn't good.


	36. Chapter 36

I hung up the phone my breathing quickened, my heart pounding, and me loving every second of it. She said it. The words. The THREE words that almost everyone loves to hear. But...in my case should I love to hear them? I knew I did there was no escaping that but, what about Aiden? He deserved so much better than this. What was he going to think of me? This was when I realized, he had been in the bathroom for a very long time. I stood up ready to search for him while I tried to erase the words Spencer sad to me. No, I didn't want them to be erased, just blocked until I saw her again.

"She…better." I heard Kyla whisper. I stopped in my tracks, I wasn't sure why either. This was my house if she was sneaking someone in I deserved to know who and what they were do-

"Kyla why can't I be happy! I love her." Aiden?

"Because this is so wrong, I can't believe you would do this to Spencer!" What? What did he do to Spencer? I felt anger rise through me. I shouldn't be getting angry at Aiden though. He should be getting angry with me. "How could she have done it to me? In a way she stole Ashley from me."

"You two weren't dating!" They were shouting in a whisper, I guessed not to wake me. I was confused though, did Aiden mean what had happened today at the barbeque? And when were Aiden and I not dating?

"That doesn't matter." Aiden said in a low mumble.

"It does, Aiden Spencer and Ashley love each other, whether they remember it or not. It isn't right for you to rip them apart without them knowing it." What were they talking about! How did she know that Spencer loved me? I'm not getting any of this.

"Well now Ashley loves me. You don't get it Kyla ok. You never will." Aiden said. I listened to creaking in the floor boards and knew that Aiden was walking my way. Quickly I jumped behind the closest door which just so happened to be a bathroom. I flipped the light switch on and then turned it off as I opened the door.

"Ashley?" I smiled at Aiden concealing my confusion for now.

"Hey, sorry I had to use the bathroom." His wide grin shined and he rested his arm around my shoulders.

"Alright well hey, lets get some sleep." He nearly whispered it as he moved his head closer to mine, kissing my cheek. My smile never grew, heart didn't race, skin didn't goose. He was keeping something from me, something that would hurt Spencer, I wasn't sure if I would be able to forgive him for that. If it were just me I could handle it, but Spencer, she was so fragile, like an innocent little cute kitten. I knew that she could get hurt easily, but what if it was all just Kyla, I knew Aiden, but I barely knew Kyla. How much could I trust her? My thoughts continued as Aiden and I lay in bed. He was messing with my hair and at the time I wished he would just leave me alone, wished he would let me think. Finally I listened to his light snoring that gradually grew louder and soothed me, allowing my thoughts to come more easily. At the moment I only thought about Spencer. My mind went over her features. Then they led to our kisses, which led to my lonely walk and almost deadly time when Aiden had saved me. He tended to do that a lot. He was my night in shining armor, but Spencer, she was different. Spencer brought joy, not drama, she was simple, sweet, granted Aiden was too but Spencer…she was on a totally different level.


	37. Chapter 37

I can't believe summer is already over. Ashley and I talked hardly at all since my slip up. I don't even know where it came from. It just came out, like it was natural or something. Almost like it was a ritual. I don't know but I'm standing in front of my closet thinking of what I should wear on what felt like my first day ever at King High school. I was nervous, scared, but I mean it wasn't all that bad. I knew people right. I had people whether I remembered them or not. Sighing I just threw on a pair of jeans, some converse, and an old band t-shirt, and headed towards the kitchen.

"Hey hun," my dad said. I could already smell the pancakes.

"Hey dad." I said, taking a seat. The sun hit my face warming me. I felt like I was freezing, but I knew I wasn't. It was the fear that made me cold inside. Fear of what people will say to me, fear of how today will go, fear of if my friends would still talk to me even though I couldn't reemmber them. Plainly just fear of life.

"Spence, you ok?"

"Yeah, fine." I replied knowing it wasn't true. I had to act like I was ok, I didn't want him asking questions about anything pertaining to Ashley, or school. He placed a plate of food in front of me and I suddenly felt full. I felt like I was being melodramatic, which I probably was.

"I'm not so hungry." I murmured.

"You sure?" My dad asked a worried expression on his face. Nodding I stood up and walked outside to wait for my brothers by the car. How was today going to go? Was Ashley going to speak to me? Did I ruin everything? How could I make it up? Great, I wasn't even sure if I did anything wrong and I was ready to apologize. I couldn't take reality, I couldn't face it, but I knew I had to. I searched my bag for my I-pod quickly running away from the world through my music. An odd habit I found I had suddenly.

_"If you knew, What I know, Would you try?" _

Did Ashley feel the same about me?

_"Before your time, Has run out, And worn you down." _

She can't I mean, why would she barely even look at me all summer.

_"Would you know, What you desire, In your heart?" _

Or maybe she just couldn't bare to look at me because she liked me so much.

_"Is there time, Is there time, To follow just one desire?" _

Yeah right.

_"Is there time, Is there time, To follow your heart?" _

Ashley would never be in love with someone like me.

_"Dress your wounds, Test your strength, Face the night." _

But what if she did?

_"Crave the touch, Feel the pain, Know the signs." _

What if Ashley did like me, what would I do then?

_"Is there truth, In your pain, You decide." _

Would we get together?

_"If you knew, What I know, Would you try?" _

Stop it Spencer your getting your hopes up.

_"Is there time, Is there time, To follow just one desire?" _

She doesn't love you.

_"Is there time, Is there time, To follow your heart." _

But what if she did?

_"As we lie, In the shade, Of poison trees." _

It doesn't matter whether she does or not.

_"Are we safe, As we let, Ourselves believe?" _

All that matters is that I know I love Ashley Davies, and there is nothing anyone in this world can do to change it, Not even myself. I wouldn't even want to change even if I could. Sure, what I felt was a sin, but, at the moment. I didn't care, because what I'm feeling know, the amount of love I am feeling, is definitely overpowering the disgust and fear I have for myself. My thoughts were broken when I felt _her _touch on my skin. Her smooth fingers lazily sliding down my arms. I saw _her_ deep eyes staring at me. I heard _her _angelic voice speak to me.

"Hey, I'm kidnapping you," I saw _her _beautiful smile spread across her face. Saw _her _amazing white teeth shine.

"Come on before we're late for school, not that I really care." And I felt _my _heart get taken away. Ashley Davies, I _need _you to be mine.


	38. Chapter 38

Kyla took off with Aiden this morning, leaving me to drive alone to school. I shouldn't even go. I mean It's not like I would remember anything. I sighed leaning against my door thinking of what would be a good idea. I had time, plenty of it in fact. This wasn't getting me anywhere. I mean I knew one reason that I wanted to go, and that was Spencer. I had been ignoring her all summer which only made me want her more. I don't understand how my feelings for someone could seem so much more than my feelings for someone else. But I love Aiden I knew that, but my feelings for Spencer, they're ten times as strong, harder to ignore. Does that mean I love her _more. _I needed to sit, to sit and think. I had a whole hour before I needed to actually leave the house. I tried thinking without any sound, almost like I was meditating but it didn't work, I needed music. I needed the harmonies to help me clear my head and find what was best for me. I hit play on a random album.

_"Don't know why I'm still afraid, If you weren't real I would make you up, Now." _

Spencer.

_"I wish that I could follow through, I know that your love is true, and deep." _

I didn't understand where my feelings for her were coming from.

_"As the sea, But right now, Everything you want is wrong." _

It was like they came natural to me.

_"And right now, All your dreams are waking up, And right now." _

Those three words she said were still echoing through my head.

_"I wish I could follow you, To the shores, Of freedom." _

She said I love you.

_"Where no one lives."_

Those pictures she had, we were kissing.

_"Remember when we first met, And everything was still a bet, In love's game." _

Not on the lips but still, it looked as if it didn't matter if we were or not.

_"You would call; I'd call you back, And then I'd leave, A message." _

She looked so happy.

_"On your answering, Machine, But right now." _

I looked so happy.

_"Everything is turning blue, And right now, The sun is trying to kill the moon." _

Maybe I was.

_"And Right now, I wish I could follow you, To the shores." _

But Aiden, I'm happy with him aren't I.

_"Of freedom, Where no one lives. Freedom." _

I was sure I was, he was my rock and I loved him.

_"Runaway tonight, Freedom, freedom, Runaway." _

That was it, I had enough.

_"Runaway tonight, We're made out of blood and rust, Looking for someone to trust." _

I needed to see Spencer.

_"Without, A fight, I think that you came too soon." _

I walked out the door and headed to my car.

_"You're the honey and the moon, That lights, Up my night." _

I drove right to her house on autopilot.

_"We got too much time to kill, Like pigeons on my windowsill, We hang around." _

I saw her leaning against the car and was instantly gratified.

_"Ever since I've been with you, You hold me up, All the time I'm falling down." _

I went to tap her shoulder but found the feel of her skin electric, so instead I let my head slide down her arm.

_"But right now, Everything is turning blue, And right now." _

She seemed a little surprised and was just staring at me.

_"The sun is trying to kill the moon, And right now, I wish I could follow you," _

"Hey, I'm kidnapping you," I told her with a smile.

_"To the shores, Of freedom, Where no one lives." _

"Come on before we're late for school, not that I really care."

I said to her, but she still stared; I was beginning to feel self-conscious until she finally showed a small smile and began to walk to my car. I looked back seeing her brothers step out of the house just as we were leaving, which I guess was good, this way they wouldn't think Spencer had run off or something. I looked back at Spencer who was now at my car her smile growing slightly as she looked at me and I smiled back thinking those three words that used to scare me.

_"Freedom, Run away tonight, Freedom, freedom, Run away, Runaway tonight."_


	39. Chapter 39

I was sure I stared at Ashley through most of the car ride but I couldn't take my eyes off her.

"So, do you even know where your classes are?" Classes? Oh right, school.

"No, not really." I told her. She looked over at me, making it harder for me to look away. How could someone so beautiful be this close to me, did God send me an angel? Wow, that was cheesy.

"Ok, well I'll help you out then." She said her gaze going back to the road. I smiled in gratitude, desperately trying to pry my eyes away from her sun-shined face.

"Let me see your schedule." She added. This time I had to look away to find the paper. I shifted through my bag and handed it to her.

"Here," I said not really needing to. She scanned it over, flickering from the paper to the road and back while I held my gaze. The sun really made her chocolate eyes sparkle. It also made her skin look incredibly tan. The short mini skirt she had on showed off her toned legs, while the shirt exposed her perfect stomach.

"That's odd." She said handing me back the paper.

"We have all the same classes. I looked at her in shock. You know how hard it's going to be for me NOT to concentrate on her?

"That almost never happens, you think we planned it?"

"I'm not sure." I told her. What if we did? What did that mean? Not having any clue as to what our relationship was is really starting to get to me.

"But hey if you ever get tired of me you're free to kick me to the curb, I'm hard to handle sometimes." She said with a smile.

"I don't think that'll happen." I told her taking my schedule back. I meant it as a light hearted joke but she looked at me intensely as she parked the car in front of the school.

"Yeah?" She asked. She didn't undo her seatbelt, didn't unlock the car, didn't show any sign of wanting to leave the car.

"Uh, I," I choked. I didn't know what to say, so I just sat and watched. I watched her eyes scan me over wanting to know what she was looking for. Watched her hand reach out and touch right above my ear, slowly running down and behind it.

"You're scared." She whispered.

"Why?" I still couldn't speak. I didn't know why, its not like we hadn't kissed before. But still, something in me still said to hold back, so I listened to it. No one spoke for a long moment; Ashley's hand now rested on the middle compartment; and my eyes were still glues to her face. She was so beautiful, her lips were so, so indescribable, and her eyes, they flickered like mine. Flew from my lips to my eyes.

"Ash," I let out in a breath. I didn't know what I wanted to say, I think I just wanted her to know that I was still alive, that I wanted her to kiss me.

"You're right we should go." She said turning away from me. I sighed, next time I would just keep my mouth shut.

"Hey Ashley," Chelsea said walking up to us. Ashley smiled and waved while I followed behind her. I wasn't sure if she wanted me to but I didn't know where I was heading so I figured I should.

"Hey Spencer!" Kyla said a little too cheery. She was sitting next to Aiden who look disgruntled about something.

"Hi Kyla," I said flashing her a smile. I decided it was best to sit closer to Kyla instead of closer to Ashley. Just in case.

"So, what are you two girls up too?" Aiden asked. He seemed incredibly tense about something.

"Well, we just found out we have the same classes." Ashley said smiling at me. I noticed that Aiden put a protective arm around Ashley.

"Are you two dating?" I blurted out in an almost shriek. Kyla looked surprised but also unbelievably apologetic; Aiden cracked a small smile and Ashley looked down.

"Yeah, we are. I thought Ashley told you." Aiden said. Kyla shot him a dirty look. I barely noticed. I felt my whole world crashing down. A huge hole began to ache in my chest. I felt like I couldn't breath and then I felt the tears coming. How could I have been so stupid. Of course Ashley was taken, I mean look at her. My heart was breaking, I could feel it. _Two more days_ I told myself. _Two more days and Chris will be here to help you._


	40. Chapter 40

I didn't mean for Spencer to find out like that, She should have been told long ago. I'm so stupid. I can barely even look at her, she looks so broken. I broke her.

"Spencer, you want me to show you to class?" I nearly whispered. I wished I hadn't spoken, at least then I could avoid seeing the hurt and pain in her eyes. She gazed up at me, clearly debating if she even wanted to be around me at the moment.

"I don't care." She mumbled. I hoped no one else could see how badly I broke her. Screw Aiden, he pretty much threw it in her face. I know that he didn't know Spencer's feelings but I mean, did he have to be so rude or…god I don't know, but I have to make this up to Spencer.

"Come on." I said holding out my hand. She didn't take it, she walked passed me. I could feel the ice forming on her shoulder. I was so screwed. When we were far enough away from the table I tried to explain myself.

"Spencer, I'm sorry. I should have told you but I just. It never really came up and I was afraid that if I told you, you would, I don't know run away or something." She still wasn't speaking. Her head was hanging low as she followed my footsteps.

"Spencer," I uttered, steeping in front of her. Her eyes were looking everywhere but at me.

"Spence, please look at me." I heard my voice crack. I was terrified, I didn't want to lose her, she made me feel so alive. She somehow meant so much to me even though I barely knew her. She was precious. I waited until her eyes reluctantly looked into my own and I couldn't help but smile at least a little bit.

"Spence I'm so sorry you found out like that." I repeated. She shook her head looking away again.

"No, I-I should have known," She stated. Her voice was so plain, there was no life to it. Did I really do all this?

"I mean, how could someone as beautiful as you NOT be with somebody." She finished. My mind drew a blank. I didn't know what to say. What could I say. She had gotten hurt by ME but she was still complimenting me, it didn't make sense.

"Spencer, please don't ignore me because of all this. I don't think I could take it." I whispered. She cracked a soft smile which made me sigh with relief.

"Ash, I don't think I could go without talking to you any loner." My smile grew wider and my whole body went on autopilot. It was if I was watching a movie where I was the star. My hand began to move up and play with Spencer's beautiful silky hair. Next thing I knew she had taken a step towards me, her eyes unsure but also full of lust. Lust for me. Spencer Carlin the most gorgeous girl I have ever set my eyes on clearly wanted _me. _

Still on autopilot my hand that was still at my side moved to her waist, I felt her body jump only slightly, watched her eyes look past me, although, I wasn't really sure why. At the moment the only two people who existed were her and I. Her eyes came back to me, still calm, but she didn't move anther inch. I figured she wanted me to, and I did. That's when watching me almost screamed at the screen as I watched myself lean in to kiss her. Autopilot slash acting me was mere inches from the blonds face when movie watching me had stopped breathing. I felt her hot breath on my lips, I wanted her to move closer, but she wasn't moving, she was leaving this all up to me. And I wanted it. I moved in the rest of the way while she parted her lips further and closed her eyes. She pulled back after the first gentle kiss, then went in for more. I couldn't believe what I was doing. I didn't want to believe what I was doing. I was hoping that I would wake up from the dream soon.

"Ash," I heard Spencer whisper. I sighed as I pulled away not looking directly at her.

"I still don't know where my classes are." she stated bluntly. Even though are kisses were gentle my breath was picking up. I wanted more of what I shouldn't. Spencer I need you. I said to myself.


	41. Chapter 41

**ok guys im begging you all to look at my In The Dark story**

**PLEASE! its a spashley story but in the begining Carmen hits on Spencer**

**Plus its a vampire fanfiction ill tell you know that Ashley and Carmen are vampires**

**please please please read it i want more reviews and id hate to put almost paradise on a hold so i can try and work more on in the dark**

**(yes thats a threat lol)**

**i know pathetic but i jsut REALLY wnat ppl to tell me wat they think and yes ppl have been reviewing it but im selfish and want more hahaha lol wow**

**ok but yea im tryna think of things**

**OH theres an awesome fight scene in it**

**im also bout to update it with a nice Spahley love scene**

**and ummmm yea i cant think of naything else lol**

**but u can find it under my profile like under the stories or i can make it easy and give you the link**

.net/s/4716385/1/In_The_Dark

ok there ya go please read

itd make me very happy!


	42. Chapter 42

**ok i know this excuse is used a lot but i have new classes s i have A LOT of homework and i had to squeeze this post in. **

**Tomoorow I'm hoping to have time to work on In The Dark and yes to everyone that is reading One Nighter's I will continue to write that as well.**

** But I'm really sorry to tell you that the posts wont be that frequent maybe until the weekend. **

**One reason being that my dad just got back from Washington(he was protecting Presdent Obama I know cool right! He's in the coast guard.) and we want to spend time with him and then his birthday is on Tuesday!**

**Also You all will be happy to know that I'm making this slightly longer than planned. **

**I jsut can't finish it i love it too much so yeah, there is that to look forward to. **

**Ummm, oh! for people reading Hardships I know I only have like on post up and i will write more but my main concentration (for my fanfictions anyway) are my south of nowhere ones. **

**I'm sorry but I like them better. **

**Also i delted the ones i have not written on in forever but I do plan on reposting at least one when I finish Almost Paradise ok. **

**Wow that's a lot uh i hope i covered everything. **

**Ok so this post is short and I'm sory but like i said crazy week.**

**I hope next week i will be able to get more in though hopefully it wont be as crazy!**

**Spencers P.O.V.**

I listened to her sigh as she pulled away from me but I really did need to know where my classes were. She looped her arm through mine and led me towards first hour.

"So Ashley, um you and" I didn't want to bring up Aiden, it still hurt.

"Kyla seem to be getting along better." She let out an exasperated sigh and I laughed.

"Come on it can't be that bad." She shot me a face and repeated her sigh. I smiled and laughed again pecking her lips. Oops. I didn't mean to do that.

"Sorry, I uh. I didn't mean to Ashley. I mean I don't know what happened.." She put her finger up to silence me and flashed her warm smile making my heart melt.

"Please don't apologize after kissing me." She nearly whispered. Was this right? I mean she had a boyfriend but it felt so amazingly perfect. I listened as the bell rang and Ashley rushed me to our first hour. It was a nice class room. I found out it was Spanish 1. Which I guess wouldn't be that bad. At least it didn't require any knowledge of something I had learned in earlier years here.

"Alright class, lets just jump right into things here alright." The teacher began, and the class sighed, including Ashley. I made the mistake of looking at her and found myself yearn to touch her. To feel her warm skin on my own.

"Can I borrow a pencil?" I asked in a whisper, resting my hand on her arm. I don't even think I really needed one but it was the only excuse I had. She nodded her smile shining brightly.

"Thank you," I whispered back to her opening my notebook to doodle. It probably wasn't the best way to start my 'first day' but I really needed to stop thinking about Ashley. When class ended I had successfully drawn a duck, a dog, and a few swirls and also made a code for Ashley's name, 'Hewitt' after the female actress that I have had a crush on. Jennifer Love Hewitt. Under Hewitt I wrote uvoli its I lov u backwards. Yeah. I'm smart like that.

"So, next hour for us is Chorus." she said with a 'huh' at the end.

"What?" She looked at me with an odd smile on her face.

"Nothing, I just wouldn't picture you as someone who could sing.." she said.

"Hey!" playfully hitting her she laughed and looped our arms. I learned and received three songs, Earth Song, Say it Anyways, and Weep O Mine Eyes. Ashley and I were alto's so we got to sit next to each other…again. Not that I was complaining. Although it was hard to concentrate on the music when you had a beautiful brunette next to you, with beautiful harmonies coming out of her mouth. Yeah, she was perfect. Next was lunch, and Aiden was in it with us.

"Hey babe!" He said happily walking up to Ashley, she hugged him but gave me an apologetic look, then kissed him. Yes, it hurt like hell, but I'd put up with it, I had to there wasn't much else I could do. It's not like I could confess my undying passion for her in front of everyone.

"Spence, you wanna go to the movies tonight?" He asked me suddenly.

"Um, I don't think I can." I lied. It wasn't a full lie actually, I really didn't know if I could, but the real reason why I didn't want to was because the girl that I clearly was falling for was going to be wrapped up in her boyfriend while I was the third wheel.

"Ok, well ask, Kyla, Chelsea, and one of Kyla's friends are coming too." He added giving his attention back to Ashley. It almost made me sick how he pawed her like she was just meat, but I knew that he cared for her, I could see it in his eyes. In the way he was gentle with her hands. It still didn't make any difference. I had a natural dislike for him, he has won the heart of Ashley, and I was stuck watching.


	43. Chapter 43

**ok kittykat calm the fuck down lol**

**i never said the story was over i said i was going to make it longer!!! **

**READ lol i will post more when i get time i have a project to do, spanish, world history (4 EFFIN PAGES!) and then i have to fix up my myspace which if ur interested is hides_with_a_smile**

**On the myspace ill out up some updates about the stories maybe even throw in some "deleted scenes" or idk im still thinking about what i want to do with it but i have tons of blogs that some ppl fins funny others may find offensive. **

**Also I will be posting poems up in fact im bout to put one on there now **

**its for an ex that hurt me far too much and after she hurt me this most recent time (wednesday) i snapped and deleted her from my yahoo IM, my myspace, just everything, i do have pics up of her but im deleting those too**

**basically im trying to erase her i no sounds harsh but u dnt no wat she put me through.**

**Ummmm so yea**

**Oh also in myspace ill prolly also try and give shout outs to readers answer any questions you have for me or about my stories that i post.**

**But yeah that's all i can think of at the moment so yea i hope you all have a nice weekend and enjoy ourselves!**


	44. Chapter 44

**Hey guys I don't know what happened but it totally messed up my last post...idk y im sry tho heres how its really suppossed to go**

**Ashley's POV**

I had to admit I was surprised when Aiden asked Spencer to join us for the movies, but I wasn't complaining either. At the moment it was just Aiden, Kyla and I waiting for Chelsea to come with Spencer and some other girl.

"Hey guys sorry we're so late," Chelsea said with an apologetic smile.

"I swear there was no where to park." I smiled as Spencer came into view and my smile grew when I saw her laughing. At least she was happy at the moment.

"No problem Chels, we got your tickets so come on." Aiden said, grabbing my hand. I never got to say hi to Spencer but I figured I'd be able to later while the credits played. I heard her laugh again and turned back. What could be so funny? When I looked I saw a brunette next to her, straight hair bangs just above her blue eyes. I wasn't going to lie, she was beautiful. She was wearing a long sleeved shirt with black skulls all over it, skinny jeans and converse. It was so basic but yet cute and fashionable.

"Ash, you ok?" I heard Aiden ask tightening his grip on my hand for a split second.

"I'm fine, just trying to see Chelsea's friend." was my response. I felt him let go of my hand and I smiled up at him kissing his cheek. I walked back to my favorite blond and the new brunette.

"Hi, I'm Ashley," I said happily offering my hand to greet the new girl.

"Yeah, I know, Chelsea told me all about you Ashley." the girl responded not shaking my hand. Ok….what was her deal.

"Ok…well anyway Spence what did you want to do after this? I didn't eat dinner yet so you maybe want to go out and eat after?" I asked. Spencer seemed a little uneasy and shifted her weight from foot to foot before speaking.

"Actually, um Carmen kind of asked me to eat first…" she trailed off. Carmen flashed a bright smile and looked at my Spencer. Yes my Spencer, I hereby claim her as mine, and no one else can have her not even Carmen.

"Ok, well I'll join you two then." I said cheerily. They both looked at each other and this time Carmen spoke.

"Well, it's sort of more like a date." My. World. Shattered. Spencer can't be dating, I mean she wanted me right? Sure I was taken but that was different I was dating before I kissed Spencer not after. Was I not good enough?

"Oh." I stated lamely. I saw Spencer look down at the floor.

"You know what, maybe we should take a rain check on that dinner." Carmen said giving Spencer an almost happy smile. Spencer looked up at her relief on her face. Did that mean she still wanted to go on the date?

"Ok, that sounds less awkward." She said. Hello. Was I not here anymore or something? I watched as Carmen smiled and looped her arm with my Spencer's. As if that wasn't painful enough I had to watch Spencer smile and slide her hand down to lace their fingers.

Fine she wanted to be that way then just…fine. Two can play that game. As they walked past me I quickly walked up to Aiden and latched myself onto him looking back to see if Spencer noticed, but, she seemed almost as happy with Carmen as she was with me. I wanted to cry but I wouldn't and I know it sounds terrible but I want her to cry, I want her to be the jealous one not me.

When we took our seats it went Aiden, me, Carmen, Spencer, Chelsea, then Kyla. Great, just who I wanted to sit next to. I sighed and we all waited through the opening credits, Aiden watching them intently, me just listening in on Spencer and Carmen's conversation, and Chelsea and Kyla doing whatever they were doing. Spencer laughed again about some joke Carmen told, which wasn't even that funny at all.

Oh.

My.

God.

Spencer is trying to make me jealous. That has to be it. Wow, that was a little pathetic but hey, I'm no better right. I sit back and smile to myself now more relaxed by the fake laughs that came from Spencer and her 'date.'


	45. Chapter 45

**Hey you guys ok i would like to tell you all YES I am a PRO SPANGS! lol but that has nothing to do with my stories...well sorta in a way....lol anyways i had to get that off my chest. You all hate me now don't you. SORRY i jsut thought they were better together! I wish I had a Carmen. She was perfect! everything that I looked for in a girl man...life isn't fair..**

Carmen was great, she was funny, and spunky, and a little tomboyish. It was cute and I really did like her, just not as much as Ashley. Carmen was also very polite and sweet and…you know what, she was perfect. If Ashley hadn't been in the picture I was sure that Carmen would be the one for me. But Ashley had Aiden, and I deserved to have someone to hold me when the end of the day came right? I thought so.

"Spence, you ok?" She husked, her voice raspier and deeper than Ashley's. Not that I was comparing her that much.

"Yeah," I tell her. I felt her hand slide under mine and her thumb start to rub the top of it.

"Ok, well do you want some?" She asked holding up her large pop. I smile and lean over to take a sip and now notice Ashley's eyes on me, causing my whole body to rush back. I didn't mean for her to see that. I felt bad, I felt like I was throwing all of this in her face but I wasn't. I could tell Carmen was getting frustrated, but that was another great thing about her, she knew that things were weird and won't push me.

"Spencer, did you want some?" I heard Kyla ask from the end. She was passing Chelsea a large bag of popcorn.

"Oh, no that's your's I'll get some of my own." I told her.

"Ah, no you won't. I will. What do you want? Popcorn? Candy?"

"Carmen," I almost whined.

"Fine come with me to help find out." I sighed and shook my head.

"Fine, but I'm paying."

"Sure you are." And with that she helped me out of my seat and I held her hand all the way to the concession stand actually forgetting about Ashley for more than a minute.

"Ok, I'll get a medium popcorn, and some snowcaps, and um, ooh some Reese's Pieces." Carmen said. We had made a deal on who would pay by using rock paper scissors, she won obviously. "Thank you." She said as she handed the clerk the money.

"You cheated." I mumbled.

"What, I played fair, you just suck at rock paper scissors." she teased. I scoffed and kicked her but lightly.

"Jerk." "Ugh." We ended up play wrestling each other as the clerk got the popcorn and candy. When I had finally pinned her against the counter she just looked at me deeply. Shit. I could feel my heart flutter. Just like it did for Ashley only not as intense. I let go quickly clearing my throat.

"Spence," She whispered taking my wrist.

"It's ok." was the only thing she said. But it didn't feel ok. It didn't feel fair that I was falling head over heals for this girl while I still liked Ashley. It wasn't fair to Carmen. Wait. Not fair to Carmen. The girl I just met. The girl that I didn't feel as strongly for was the girl I was most worried about. This was getting too weird. My mind was brought back by her fingers grazing my cheek.

"Hey. I promise everything will be ok." She whispered. I smiled and pecked her lips.

"Well if that's all I needed to say I would have said it a long time ago." She said boldly. I chuckled and we gathered our food and walked back to our theatre room. I sat in my respected seat and Carmen squeezed by to sit in hers and that's when I noticed Ashley was gone.

"Chelsea where did Ashley go?"

"I think she went to get you two." Chelsea said her eyes glued to the screen as the movie began. Ok, I thought to myself. Sitting back in my seat I felt Carmen's arm resting on my arm rest and as if on auto pilot I laced our fingers. That wasn't even the weirdest part, the weirdest part was when I actually felt a spark. It wasn't anything intense but enough to make my heart jump. I felt Carmen's eyes on mine and I had to look at them. When I did I found that they almost seemed sad, for a few seconds, then her lips twisted into a smile and she leaned her body as close to me as she could in her seat and we both watched the movie. Ashley came in a few minutes later and stopped in front of us staring.


	46. Chapter 46

**Hey guys im back. I know its been awhile. I'm sorry but this has a little bit more spashley in it and the next post will too! Oh and if you wanted to kill Aiden beofre just wait till u read wat he does now!**

I don't understand. She's just messing with me. She has to be. She can't really like this chick. I mean she's just so…so…I don't know but she's not right for her. When I found my legs were able to move again I sat down in silence. Aiden asked me what was wrong but I didn't answer him. I could barely pay any attention to the movie, my heart hurt too much. All I wanted was to cry. I just wanted to hide in a corner and cry my heart out. I felt Aiden try to cop a move but I really wasn't in the mood for it. I shoved his arm away from me and leaned only a centimeter closer to Carmen. I felt his glare on me, I felt Carmen's confused glance, but I ignored them both. I tried to pay attention to the movie as best I could only noticing that it was halfway over. Paul and that one chick he was crushing on were by a plane other cops surrounding them. Great, I thought to myself, There's a waste of money, I didn't even get to see if it was good or not.

"This was fun." I heard Carmen say to Chelsea and Spencer.

"We'll have to do it again sometime." My heart stopped. Please say no Spence. Please.

"Um, yeah sure." "Great. Call me sometime kay?" Carmen called over her shoulder. Her mother was picking her up apparently.

"You ready to go babe?" Aiden asked placing his arm around me.

"Stop it." I mumbled shrugging his arm off.

"What is your deal Ash. All night you have been avoiding me, not giving me any sign of affection. You barely let me touch you. So what the hell is going on?!" I stepped back. Why was he so frustrated. God, men are so controlling and stupid and idiotic.

"Hey back off! Maybe she's having an off day." My eyes bugged.

"Spencer this has nothing to do with you!" Aiden yelled at her.

"Aiden don't yell at her! She's only defending me." A loud SWACK was heard and then an excruciating pain to me cheek was felt. Did he just…I watched frozen, as Spencer shoved im back and went to throw a punch before I stopped her.

"Spence, stop. It's ok."

"What the fuck! No it's not!" She shouted then looked over my shoulder.

"I swear to god Aiden you lay another hand on her I WILL kill you!" And with that she grabbed my wrist and stormed off. Chelsea and Kyla in hot pursuit. We squeezed into Chelsea's car, Chelsea and Kyla up front and me and Spence in back.

"I'm so sorry Ash."

"Why?"

"If I hadn't have jumped in like that maybe he wouldn't have slapped you."

"Spence it's not your fault. Ok. Nothing happened because you did or didn't do something." I tried to explain to her. She only nodded and ran her fingers across my cheek gently. It hurt but only for a second. I closed my eyes trying to erase everything that had happened tonight. To try and repress every bad feeling in me, make them go away until I could pretend again. Pretend like life wasn't hell. Pretend like I was truly happy with Aiden, like he did complete me, make me feel the way Spencer did. She gently pressed her lips on my cheek, making me smile. I wasn't pretending now. I never pretend to be happy around her, I just naturally am. I turned to her with a smile but she wasn't.

"What?"

"You're bruising already." She said in an almost whisper. I smiled and brushed some of her hair past her cheek.

"I'll be fine" I tell her slowly before pecking her lips. I know shame on me, but I couldn't help it. I needed to feel her somehow, and besides she started it by kissing my cheek.

"Ash," I heard her call.

"Mhm?"

"Can I stay at your place?" I grinned at the thought.

"Of course Spence. You can stay whenever you like." I listened to her sigh, then rest her head against the window. I looked out my own and saw a few stars surprisingly. I barely noticed her skinny fingers wrapping around my own.


	47. Chapter 47

**Hey I know shame on me for not posting but hey i have good news! I'M 17!!!!!! WOOT! I GT MY PERMIT TOO! WOOT TIMES 2! lol ok this post isn't all that happy buuuut deal! lol enjoy!**

When Chelsea dropped Ashley and I off at Ashley's house I couldn't help but smile. I didn't know what it was but her house made me feel so much more like I was home then my own house did.

"Spence you gonna start moving?" she asked me as I just stood in the front door. Blushing I made my way into her kitchen.

"So Spence, um, how did you like the movie?" She asked. She almost seemed to regret even bringing it up.

"Well I mean it was ok, Carmen kept making these hilarious jokes so I was pretty much laughing too much to really pay attention." I tell her leaving out how sweet and charming she was at the concession stand.

"Oh, so you like her?" Her eyes weren't on mine, they darted from the counters to the floor, to the sink. Anywhere that I wasn't. Why was she making this so hard, I mean she's with aiden and I'm not getting all super jealous. Yeah ok maybe a little but not like her.

"Why does it matter?" I ask, the question sounding more hostile than I meant it to.

"It's just a question Spence," A silence covers over us that's as heavy and awkward as ever.

"Look," she begins. "I just, I don't like seeing that girl all over you, something just doesn't seem right about her."

"What do you mean?" I ask not enjoying where this conversation is heading. Is she really about to tell me that I can't see other people even though she's doing the same thing?

"Spencer I just don't like her ok. She just…I don't really want her around you. I don't like her something about her just gets to me."

"Wait, so let me get this straight, you don't want me to date anyone else because of us yet here you are dating a douche that hits you?! Explain to me how that makes sense!" I shout fuming. I can't believe she even thought that, that was ok.

"That's not what I said! I just said I didn't like _her _Not that you couldn't date. I know it's not fai-"

"You don't even know her! You barely said two sentences to her, so how could you possibly get to know if you like her or not?!"

"I just don't ok! Why are you being like this? You act as if I completely insulted your best friend."

"You're the one saying I can't be around her! She's probably the only other person besides you that makes me feel safe, makes me feel sane. When I'm around my friends and even my family I feel like a nut job. Having them always bringing up things I don't remember! It drives me insane! But with Carmen she doesn't expect anything from me, just that I trust her and give her a chance. And at this point I'm beginning to think giving her a chance is better than giving you one!"

And as soon as it leaves my mouth I want to take it back. But I can't and she's just standing there looking at my now fake anger stance. I can't be angry anymore, not when I see how badly I just hurt her. So I fake it. I have to if I don't want to seem even more insane than I already am. She takes a step back and looks away from me, releasing the hold she has, allowing me to breathe. When no one says anything I take out my cell phone and call my dad so he can pick me up. While I wait for him Ashley just sits on her couch watching a black screen while I stand by the door.

I didn't mean to say that. It's not like I didn't mean it because at the moment I did feel that way but that was that moment and this is now. And right now I just want to be with her, to be in her arms and let her know everything will be ok. I hear a horn outside and look at Ashley who hasn't even moved an inch.

"Um, my dads here." I nearly whisper. She only nods and I'm so torn on what I should do, I want to take it back so badly, but I don't. I just leave.


	48. Chapter 48

**Dear Anon Reader titled WTF,**

**look i'm sorry if this story is not to your liking but what sense does it make for you to continue to read it if it makes no sense to you? You just make yourself sound stupid by telling me to not write anymore when your the only one telling me not to. So either stop reading or grow some balls and stop reviewing as an anon reviewer. And what does me being 17 have to do with this story "going down the toilet?" i never once said i was a profesional story writer or that i was any older. And i do have a plan for the reason why the "doctors" said they weren't supposed to give any clues and for those of you reading stop now because im about to spill a major spoiler! The "doctor" wasn't really a "doctor" or well it was but it was Paula. And the only reason why she said that was so Ashley and Spencer wouldn't be together. So see. I do have a vision for this so get off my case! I'm really sick of you bashing me whenever i update because its your choice to read or not to. So stop blaming me for this story sucking when you could just move on with your life and read a tottaly different story. Again I'm sorry its not up to "your standards" but seriously get a life and find something else to criticize because you don't even get to me anymore, i mean you used to but now ur like an annoying bug that needs to just be squashed already. But anyways to my actually readers if you read the spoiler im sorry i had to post it in opes that this douche wuld leave me alone. but i do thank you for supporting me because otherwise id probably be done with writing even tho i love it so! So thank you soooo much you guys mean the world to me!**


	49. Chapter 49

**HOLY SNAP! ok i will post more today don't worry but it was pointed out that holly hell! yesterday was the one year aniversary of this fic!!!!! I usually just get bored by now omg....wow....holy frickin....im like just blown away! JESUS! lol and THANK YOU GUYS AGIAN!!! JUST wow!**

**ok soryy bout that! im just in shock right now...like ...wow....um..im blown away this is amazing i ussually do get just tired after a few months...wow..ok more soon just had to say that..**

As soon as she leaves I feel a hot tear run down my cheek. What am I supposed to do with myself now. I can't exactly call Aiden, or could I? I don't really know the protocol of dating someone that just hit you. I mean do I break up with him or was it a one time thing? Another hot tear ran down my face only slower. I just sit in darkness barely thinking, I'm frozen. I can't even begin to think of what I need to do. With Aiden, with Spencer, hell even with Carmen. Because Spencer was right. I had no right to say who she can and can't date. I heard the front door open and close and could pretty much tell Kyla was home from eating with Chelsea.

"Hey, Ash, are you ok?" She asks sitting next to me inspecting my cheek. I had forgotten that it had even been there for awhile. There was too much shouting going on for me to realize it. And as if I had just been in a car crash it hit me and my breath left my lungs.

"Does Spencer not want to see me again?" I whisper out as best I could. I know Kyla couldn't have the answer to it but there were too many questions in my head that it had just escaped.

"What?" I just shake my head the tears running freely. Is that what she meant? She didn't want to be with me or see me? I mean, was she just giving up on me completely?

It's been a couple weeks and Spencer hasn't spoken to me. Aiden and I were still dating but we weren't close like before. I tried my best to stay away from him. I wasn't sure if it was because of what happened at the movies or because I wanted Spencer. Lucky for me Carmen went to a different school. Thank God. I don't think I could handle seeing Spencer around her. We still sat next to each other, still shared our friends not dividing our pack and making them choose. Which was probably the only good thing that has happened to me lately. My thoughts were dragged back to the class when the teacher started naming partners for our next project. My heart stopped when Spencer was paired with me and I couldn't help but look over at her. She seemed so dead, so just completely dull and lifeless.

"Uh, S-spencer.." I start to say. She doesn't even look at me.

"You can ask for someone else. I would understand." I tell her in a near whisper. She just scoffed and looked at me with such anger.

"Why because simply apologizing would be too hard?"

"What? Spence, I'm sorry. Truly and deeply sorry, you were right. I was wrong. If that's all you wanted I would have done it so long ago, but you never picked up my phone calls, you never called me back, answered my messages. I didn't think you even wanted to hear any of it. I am sorry Spencer." I watch her just play with the pencil before she speaks.

"Look, I don't want an apology if you don't even mean it. Lets just split up parts and then put it together when we finish ok." She tells me and what else can I do but nod. When the bell rings for lunch I rush up out of my seat before she can see my tears. I've been crying a lot lately and I've noticed that it's been getting harder to control. Instead of heading to the usual table I run off to the lockers, its far from the lunch pavillion I usually sit at and its far away from Spencer. I get a text from Aiden asking where I am but I ignore, like he cares. Like anyone cares. I've lost everyone and I don't think I've ever felt so lonely. But, at the same time, I'm ok with it. Being alone isn't that bad, because, by being alone I have no one to hurt me. No one to rip me up to shreds. Just me. That is until some stranger comes up behind me. I don't know who she was but she resembled Spencer in a way. Long blond hair, blue eyes, only this girl had some freckles. And the shade of blond was slightly darker. Plus she dressed a lot different, tight skinny jeans and a low cut shirt.

"Hey, are you ok?" She asked with a Texan accent. And even though I know its not Spencer, I still cry.

"Oh, wow, um do you want to talk about it?" The girl asked sitting next to me. I just chuckle, who was this person again? Why does she care?

"Why, its not like it'll fix anything." I tell her. She sighs and looks forward, away from me.

"True, but it'll make you feel better." she tells me with a smile her eyes now back on me.

"Now come on spill, its either this or Chem. and well, I think the choice is obvious." She says with a giggle. I couldn't help but smile a little bit too.

"Alright, well lets just say life, dating, and well anything related to them sucks ass." I state simply and she lays her head back letting out a scoff.

"Tell me about it. You ever just want to scream at the top of your lungs and just jump off a cliff," she pauses and looks at me laughing when she see's my "what the hell" face.

"Not to kill yourself, just to feel the release, like jump into a large lake or bay or something. I don't know. Maybe its just me, or maybe I'm not making sense." She trails off. But she is making sense, because everything she just described is everything I'm going through. Its everything I want to feel.

"No you're making sense. I get what you mean." I say finally looking her right in the eye. What I thought were blue turned out to be a sea green. They were kind of cool. My stare breaks when she sighs and looks away.

"So, why are you by yourself? Aren't you dating the basketball star or something?" I chuckled. I really was getting a name for myself huh.

"Yeah, but the star is a pre-Madonna." I tell her wondering if I said too much. I mean it wasn't any of her business but for some reason she seemed so easy to talk to.

"Yeah, Well lets go meet this pre-Madonna, shall we?" She says helping me up. I smile but instantly remember Spencer and can't move.

"What?"

"Well he's not the only one I'm avoiding. I kind of made one of my really good friends mad, and now she is barely talking to me."

"So lets go fix it, come on I'm sure it can't be that bad." She says pulling me off towards the tables. And even though I know it is that bad, even though its pretty impossible to fix I go along with it. This girl just makes me think what the hell, what have I got to lose.

"So which table?" I point, and she drags me.

"Hey ya'll you mind if I join ya?" she asks taking a seat anyways. I couldn't help but laugh a little when she sits right next to a dumb struck Spencer. It was nice to laugh for once though. "So hi, I'm Riley." She says offering her hand to anyone who will take it.

"Hi, I'm Chelsea, this is Clay, tat's Kyla, Spencer, and Aiden. And I guess you already met Ashley." She says watching me as I sit.

"Yeah, poor thing was all by herself. I swear whatever boy got her so down truly is an ass." she says and oddly I can't help but snicker. Maybe because I know she knows he's right there. And when he just clears his throat it makes my laughter harder to contain.

"Ash, look clearly we need to work together on this project so just call me ok." Spencer nearly mumbles and it hurts. She didn't even look at me when she said it, just right down at her food.

"Oh, uh ok."

"Hey, I was thinking about skipping the rest of the day, you wanna come?" Riley asks me turning away from the others.

"Well since that sounds better than anything else I have planned sure, why not." I reply with a smile.

"Alright well lets go before they lock up the gates, the bells gonna ring soon." and with that she nearly throws me off the seat and we rush to our cars leaving everyone behind.


	50. Chapter 50

**Hey guys! if its pring break for u i hope u r enjoying it!! I'm super excited for my next few posts! Hope u r too!!**

School ended an hour ago and Ashley has yet to call me. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be mad at her still or not. I really wasn't but I was hurt. I mean she never even said I'm sorry for anything. But was that still an excuse to stay mad? Plus she was still with Aiden. Whether he apologized or not, it still gave him no right to slap her.

"Spence, you still in there?" Carmen asks me, she was sitting at my desk checking her Myspace.

"Yeah, sorry, just I don't spacey." I tell her. It wasn't exactly a lie.

"Yeah, you sure you're alright?" She asks again sitting on my bed. I give her my most convincing smile and nod.

"I'm sure, but you know what will make me feel better?"

"What?"

"A kiss or two, maybe even a drive to the park." I tell her toying with her hair. She smiled brightly and pecked my lips once before pulling away.

"Why the park?" She asks. Lets see should I tell her the truth, how I can barely look at pictures with beaches because all it does is bring me back to that photo. The one of me and Ashley, us all happy and having fun.

"I just enjoy watching the little kids play around."

"Yeah, it makes you think," She says kissing me again only this time a little more passionate.

"Have you ever thought about kids?" She asked resting her head on mine. She was kind of jumping the gun don't you think.

"Uh, not really, at least I don't think I did." But something hit me. I don't know what it was or when it happened but I started to remember something. Jade. That name just popped in my head. Did I know a Jade? Jade, Jade, Jade. I repeated to myself.

_"Do you want kids?" Ashley asked. We were sitting at the beach, the moon in the sky. We've been here almost all day, but my parents were out on a trip, what they didn't know won't hurt them. _

_"Um, I don't know. I don't really think about it." I tell her. _

"Spence, hey you still in there?" Carmen asked waving her hands in my face. I blinked a few times before looking at her.

"I-I, I remember. Or um. Ashley she." I couldn't speak, this was the first memory I've had in months and it was about Ashley. Why couldn't I have a memory about me. You know something to make me remember what I wanted, what I had planned.

"You remember something?" Carmen asked smiling brushing hair past my shoulder. I smiled at her even though I felt I shouldn't. A tinge of guilt was hitting me. Where it came from I didn't know.

"Yeah, a conversation Ashley and I had. She was talking about a dream she had about her daughter. Or well, her dream daughter I suppose." I thought Carmen would get upset, maybe even a little jealous, but she didn't she started to beam and hugged me tightly.

"Spence that's great!" She said enthusiastically. When she let go I smiled back,

"Maybe I could remember more today, maybe I can finally get my memory back." I said hopefully. Today might be the day! I was so excited.

"Maybe you never know. Now come on, lets go to the park." She said, her smile still shining.

The park was always so peaceful. I wonder if I had a secret memory for why I liked it so much. I closed my eyes trying my best to come up with a tiny shred of a memory as I sat on the swing. Carmen left to get some food. She really was sweet. She always made sure I was taken care of before her and it was nice. I don't recall feeling so cared for. But I'm sure I was, maybe by Ashley. I smiled when I thought of her. I can't stay mad at her forever, I knew that, and maybe today was the day to just drop it. I look for Carmen, wondering if she would mind me calling her, but she's no where in sight. So quickly I dial Ashley's number and hope she picks up.

"Hello?" I can hear her voice shake as she speaks.

"Hey, um. I wanted to, I guess apologize. I really shouldn't have stayed angry. I don't know what came over me." I start to say wondering if it was the right things to say at all.

"No, Spence I'm sorry, and whether you believe me or not is up to you but it is the truth. I love you," My heart stops there and I just hope she doesn't continue. Just let me pretend that she loves me the way I love her.

"You're one of my best friends, I don't know what I'd do without you Spence. You just make my whole life brighter, easier. The whole time you stopped talking to me I felt like I was dead. You were right though, I have no right to tell you what to do. And I won't I promise." She says, and even though it hurt to have her say that I was just her best friend, I could only think how lucky I was to be her anything.

"Ok, um hey you want to meet me and Carmen at the park?" I asked. Maybe I should have left Carmen out of the picture.

"Uh, yeah sure, but Riley might have to tag along. I'm her ride."

"That's fine, I just want to talk." I tell her.

"Ok." And with that said we both hang up. I watch as Carmen comes up with a hotdog in one hand, a water bottle dangling from her fingers, and the same in the other hand.

"Hey," she said kissing the crown of my head handing me one of the hotdogs and water bottles.

"Hey, I invited Ashley to come hang out, she's going to bring her new friend Riley."

"You guys made up?" She asks a small smile on her face. I nod and take a bite out of hotdog listening to the hollers of children and the clanks of baseballs hitting bats.

"This is probably one of my favorite places." Carmen says out of nowhere.

"Why?" I ask and she just looks at me. She doesn't even speak she just stares.

"It's just, too much to go into detail right now, but I'll tell you later." She says swinging slightly.

A few minutes later I see Ashley's car pull up and smile.

"Ash!" I shout to get her attention. God I missed her smile so much. It's been forever since I've seen her smile like that.

"Hey guys, um this is Riley." Ashley said introducing her new friend to Carmen. They shook hand sand an awkward silence came over us four.

"It's a nice day." Riley spoke up. Everyone nodded and the silence came again.

"Spence, can I talk to you in private?" Ashley asks me, and what else can I do but nod and follow. She leads me through the back where there were mostly trees and I notice how she seems incredibly tense.

"I want at least one. A girl," She says. I look at her in amazement. I never would have thought Rocker Ashley Davies would want a kid.

"I dreamt about having one. Not the pregnancy part but I remember that she had blue eyes, brown curly hair. She was beautiful. Her name was Jade." I smiled at her.

"She sounds lovely."

"You want to know the best part about my dream?" She asks me leaning towards me slightly.

"What's that?"

"You were the-"


	51. Chapter 51

**idk wats going on but all this was supposed to b in the last post too..**

"Spence, hey you still in there?" Carmen asked waving her hands in my face. I blinked a few times before looking at her.

"I-I, I remember. Or um. Ashley she." I couldn't speak, this was the first memory I've had in months and it was about Ashley. Why couldn't I have a memory about me. You know something to make me remember what I wanted, what I had planned.

"You remember something?" Carmen asked smiling brushing hair past my shoulder. I smiled at her even though I felt I shouldn't. A tinge of guilt was hitting me. Where it came from I didn't know.

"Yeah, a conversation Ashley and I had. She was talking about a dream she had about her daughter. Or well, her dream daughter I suppose." I thought Carmen would get upset, maybe even a little jealous, but she didn't she started to beam and hugged me tightly.

"Spence that's great!" She said enthusiastically. When she let go I smiled back,

"Maybe I could remember more today, maybe I can finally get my memory back." I said hopefully. Today might be the day! I was so excited.

"Maybe you never know. Now come on, lets go to the park." She said, her smile still shining.

The park was always so peaceful. I wonder if I had a secret memory for why I liked it so much. I closed my eyes trying my best to come up with a tiny shred of a memory as I sat on the swing. Carmen left to get some food. She really was sweet. She always made sure I was taken care of before her and it was nice. I don't recall feeling so cared for. But I'm sure I was, maybe by Ashley. I smiled when I thought of her. I can't stay mad at her forever, I knew that, and maybe today was the day to just drop it. I look for Carmen, wondering if she would mind me calling her, but she's no where in sight. So quickly I dial Ashley's number and hope she picks up.

"Hello?" I can hear her voice shake as she speaks.

"Hey, um. I wanted to, I guess apologize. I really shouldn't have stayed angry. I don't know what came over me." I start to say wondering if it was the right things to say at all.

"No, Spence I'm sorry, and whether you believe me or not is up to you but it is the truth. I love you," My heart stops there and I just hope she doesn't continue. Just let me pretend that she loves me the way I love her.

"You're one of my best friends, I don't know what I'd do without you Spence. You just make my whole life brighter, easier. The whole time you stopped talking to me I felt like I was dead. You were right though, I have no right to tell you what to do. And I won't I promise." She says, and even though it hurt to have her say that I was just her best friend, I could only think how lucky I was to be her anything.

"Ok, um hey you want to meet me and Carmen at the park?" I asked. Maybe I should have left Carmen out of the picture.

"Uh, yeah sure, but Riley might have to tag along. I'm her ride."

"That's fine, I just want to talk." I tell her.

"Ok." And with that said we both hang up. I watch as Carmen comes up with a hotdog in one hand, a water bottle dangling from her fingers, and the same in the other hand.

"Hey," she said kissing the crown of my head handing me one of the hotdogs and water bottles.

"Hey, I invited Ashley to come hang out, she's going to bring her new friend Riley."

"You guys made up?" She asks a small smile on her face. I nod and take a bite out of hotdog listening to the hollers of children and the clanks of baseballs hitting bats.

"This is probably one of my favorite places." Carmen says out of nowhere.

"Why?" I ask and she just looks at me. She doesn't even speak she just stares.

"It's just, too much to go into detail right now, but I'll tell you later." She says swinging slightly.

A few minutes later I see Ashley's car pull up and smile.

"Ash!" I shout to get her attention. God I missed her smile so much. It's been forever since I've seen her smile like that.

"Hey guys, um this is Riley." Ashley said introducing her new friend to Carmen. They shook hand sand an awkward silence came over us four.

"It's a nice day." Riley spoke up. Everyone nodded and the silence came again.

"Spence, can I talk to you in private?" Ashley asks me, and what else can I do but nod and follow. She leads me through the back where there were mostly trees and I notice how she seems incredibly tense.

"I want at least one. A girl," She says. I look at her in amazement. I never would have thought Rocker Ashley Davies would want a kid.

"I dreamt about having one. Not the pregnancy part but I remember that she had blue eyes, brown curly hair. She was beautiful. Her name was Jade." I smiled at her.

"She sounds lovely."

"You want to know the best part about my dream?" She asks me leaning towards me slightly.

"What's that?"

"You were the-"


	52. Chapter 52

**ok i know been for ever but still. and for some reason its not letting me update the easy way so i have to like create a new document then use that as my next chapter and its all very annoying! anyways enjoy**

I don't know what it was about that kiss but it truly did say everything I needed to know. I can feel that Ashley is about to reach her climax but I don't want to stop there, I don't ever want to stop. I feel her fingers cling to the back of my shirt as her muscles tighten and she lets out a loud moan, her hips slowing down. I slowly pull my fingers from her jeans and look right into her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes. "Can we go back to your place?" I ask her in a whisper. "B-but Carmen," she says breathlessly. "And Riley, what about them?" I smile as her body begins to loosen exceedingly and her arms use me for support. I must be good. "I'll tell Carmen to give Riley a ride home, she won't mind." I whisper in her ear kissing her cheek, then her neck and finally her lips. "Mmm ok." She says her eyes remaining closed.

"You have to compose yourself though." I tell her and again she just nods and catches her breath.

After a few minutes of us just standing in front of each other smiling and pecking the others lips we finally walk back down to where we left the two. "Hey, I'm sorry to put this off on you Car, but could you please take Riley home? Ashley and I need to talk." I ask as Ashley already heads to her car. "Um, yeah sure," Carmen says sitting up from the swing. "Call me if you need anything." She says before pecking my cheek and walking off with Riley. A tinge of guilt hit me as I walked back to Ashley's car but it disappeared as soon as I stepped in. Why? Because as soon as I did Ashley was already attacking my lips. "Well hello to you too." I say to her.

"Guess whose turn it is?" She whispers to me excitedly and I can't help but giggle. "Can't you wait until we get back to your place?" I ask her as she starts to kiss my neck nipping at it slightly.

"Trust me we're going back to my place, but on the way I think you'll find the question is can YOU wait until we get back to my place."

"And What is that supposed to mean?" I ask her putting my seat belt on. She doesn't answer. Instead she pulls out of the parking lot with a devilish smile. When she doesn't speak but holds the smile I can't help but feel a little uneasy. "Ash, whats going on?"

"You'll see." Is all she says. Next thing I know she places her hand on my knee giving it a small squeeze her eyes focusing on me before going back to the road. I feel her fingers start to gently glide against my leg her hand inching further up. When her finger flicks over my center I jump up and stare at her unbelievingly. "A-ash." I whisper. Her smile widens but she still focuses on the road. Next thing I knew her finger ran across it again and when we hit a stop light, she'd quickly nibble on my ear, as her finger continued to pass my center only slightly harder this time. "Mmmash." I whisper.

A car horn beeps loudly and Ashley quickly goes back to driving, leaving me thinking of only one thing. Or quite a few things actually. Ashley. Bed. Ashley in bed. Ashley naked. Ashley in bed naked. I felt myself begin to loose control as my thoughts wandered further. To just kissing her, to biting her neck, to throwing her clothes halfway across the room. Then…shower. Ashley in shower. Water dripping down Ashley's very hot body after she got done running.

"SPENCER!"

"What!"

"Jesus where the hell did you go in that mind of yours?" She asks me. I blush as soon as the thoughts come rushing back to me.


	53. Chapter 53

**Alrighty Another memory. Not much else to say today so just enjoy**

I practically slam her body against the front door by the time we reach my house. Spencer's tongue is dancing frantically around my mouth, her moaning getting louder as I press my body against hers.

"Fuck." I whisper pulling away to look for my keys.

"Shit, shit, shit." I continue to murmur as her lips start to attack my neck. I reach up for the spare key on the doors ledge and unlock the door pushing her in. As soon as the door closes behind me I feel her body pressed against mine again and our tongues have gone back to their dance.

"Ashley!" I hear Kyla shriek, but I really don't care if she's sees. She can run up to her room while Spence and I go at it for all I care. But Spencer's too modest to not turn around and apologize. Or at least I suspected she would have, if Aiden and Kyla weren't caught on top of the coach doing…pretty much what I had wanted to do with Spencer.

"Uh…um…" Spencer tries. But like me she can't speak. I can hardly breathe. Alright so I may not be all that innocent but it still hurt.

"Aiden?" I ask dumbly. I watch him as he stands up quickly pulling his jeans back on.

"What the fuck are you two doing?" He asks Spencer. My eyes flick between the two. Would he slap her too? If he did he'd be a dead man. He wouldn't even be a man.

"We were doing the pg-13 version of what you two were doing!" I shout stepping in front of Spencer as he steps closer to her. His face was red and his eyes were dark. I look over at Kyla who looked like she didn't really know what to say. Which reminded me.

"So what, you got so jealous that he and I were together that you had to steal him from right under my nose?" I nearly scream. She looks at the floor and I look back at Aiden.

"You know what Kyla, you can have him. Trust me, I don't want him." My head snaps to Spencer, I remember. I said that same thing to her once. When did I…

"_Trust me I don't want him." Ashley said sitting down on her bed. _

_"I've already played that hand. I just want to mess with him. And you." She finished smiling slightly at Spencer. _

_"Nice." Spencer replied barely looking at the brunette. She couldn't help but be attracted to her. She was wearing a tiny tank top and a small skirt. What hope did she have against that. _

_"So," Ashley said breaking the brief silence. _

_"What about us?" _

_"Well, when I was kissing Aiden…I was thinking about you." Spencer answered almost reluctantly. Ashley heart felt as if it skipped a beat and she smiled. Smiled as if all her dreams had come true. _

_"Really? Me too." And next thing they both knew, Ashley was leaning in, whispering to the blond that it was ok. She gently placed her hand on Spencer's cheek tilting her head, both there hearts racing. _

_"Oh ho whoa." _

"Ash?" Spencer called in a raspy voice.

"Ash are you ok?" I looked around the room quickly, slightly confused. When did all that happen. Aiden was still in front of me, he looked as though he had calmed down a little, Spencer was still behind me, but her hand was on my arm, her thumb stroking it gently. And Kyla was still sitting on the couch looking at me expectantly.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just um. Aiden get out." I say walking past him.

"What?!"

"Get. Out." I repeat.

Spencer's arms are now crossed but she follows me to the kitchen. I wonder if she'd still be in the mood…Bad. No Ashley. You have to talk about the memory.

"Well there's a moment killer." I hear Spencer whisper to me reaching in the fridge for a water bottle. I smile at her as she swigs some of it and licks her lips.

"It doesn't have to be." I tell her. I watch as a small smile spreads across her face and we head up to my room, leaving Kyla in confusion.


	54. Chapter 54

**VERY short but i felt i should post something and i was listening to Nightmare Revised when i wrote this so this is what you got lol Sorry guys! **

Two months later and still nothing has changed. Well that's not necessarily true, Ashley did kick Aiden to the curb but she was still holding back on me, I don't understand, what could be so scary about dating me? I looked back into the mirror before twirling around to see myself in my costume, I decided to try and be cute yet hot. So I chose Supergirl of course. Showing off a little bit of my stomach I tugged at the bottom of the very high cut shirt. I sighed and tossed my arms to my side. This would be my first Halloween costume party I have gone to…I think…and if not well I hope it'll be one worth remembering.

"Spencer! Ashley's here!" Dad shouted from the stairs. I felt my heart flutter before I watched a wide smile spread across my face. Trampling downstairs I'm met with Poison Ivy. I watch Ashley burst out laughing at my costume, or well I hope the irony of how I was the good guy and she was the bad guy.

"Do I need to change?" I asked self-consciously. Her laughter subsided and she shook her head.

"No, you look fine, just kind of ironic, and you would." She said before grabbing my wrist.

"Thanks for letting her go Mr. C!" She shouted before exiting my house, pulling me with her.

"What do you mean I would? I would what?"

"Dress as a good guy, you goody good." She said as she pulled out of my driveway. I just scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"Whatever!" I scolded in my fake prep voice. She giggled and then looked me over at the red-light.

"Spence you do look good." She said matter-of-factly, causing me to blush. I tugged on the bottom of my skirt and looked down at the floor of the car.

"Thanks." I mumble out.

"Well, Supergirl, how would you like to go to The Dark-side?" I hear her ask. I laughed harder than I've laughed in a long time. Was she serious? Instead of asking her I just raise my eyebrows.

"It's a Halloween fair Spence! You really think I would use such a corny line?"

"Yes, actually." I say with a chuckle. She laughs too and her eyes go back to the road.

"You're right, I probably would." Within a half hour we reached the fair. It was pretty neat, it had tons of people dressed up as if they were dead, and it was by the water where they had a "ghost ship" docked. There was also a ferris wheel, a swinging ship. To the left was The Cliffhanger ride and to the right The Zipper ride. Past that was an Afterburner, a Mega drop, and of course, a merry-go-round. I noticed that the music was from The Nightmare Before Christmas album.

"I thought we were going to a party." I said as she guided me to the ticket booth.

"Well I thought this would be more fun." She states simply as she buys plenty of tickets. I smile at her caringly and then my attention is averted to a small animal farm with little lambs.

"Oh my god Ash! Look how cute!" I squeal as I rush to the gates. I hear Ashley laugh behind me but don't care.

"Yes, they are cute but not as cute as you." She tells me coming up from behind and kissing my cheek. Wich confuses me firther but I let it slide.

"You know Spence as much as I love small animals I kinda planned on going in either the haunted ship or house. Eitehr is fine as long as I could have held you close." I turn and smile at her warily.

"Or you know there always is a hay ride, or even a haunted trail." I offer. I'm a wimp when it comes to thrills.

"Oh come on you baby, I came to have fun too, not just cuddle. Now lets go!" She says enthusiastically as she drags me off towards a few rides.


	55. Chapter 55

**Hey guys. Alright so I've hit many writers block before but not one quite like this. Its more like i know what to write i just can't put it into words. Which is why I'm so behind in writing on In The Dark and a few others. But anyways. Here's an update on this fic, also I wrote a few Malex stories (Marissa and Alex from the O.C.) and i was hoping you guys could maybe check'em out! if not then fine lol no biggie.**

By the time we get off the haunted ship Spencer has clung to my side, and I didn't think she was ever going to let go. Not that I minded. "Spence, are you hungry?" I ask her. She nods against my arm and I absentmindedly kiss the top of her head and guided her to the food stands. I could feel her whole body loosen up against me after the kiss, and I had to admit, it felt nice to be this close to her, and know that she felt safe around me.

"Ashley." She called as we stood in line. I turn my heads towards her in response finding it a little hard to speak. She seemed so cautious suddenly, so afraid and nervous. "I don't mean to put any pressure or anything but, um," She stopped and played with the hem of my shirt before looking up into my eyes again. "Never mind." she said chuckling to herself looking away sharply.

"No, what?" I ask brushing some hair behind her ear. I watch a faint blush crawl up on her cheeks as she tries to look at anything but me. "Spence, what is it?" Instead of answering she swiftly looks up and starts to kiss me. I couldn't help but moan the second our lips crashed into each others. I loved kissing Spencer, she always tasted like a sweet fruit, I could never tell which one though. Strawberries, sometimes I could taste apples. I felt her pull away but stopped so she had enough room to speak without our lips touching.

"WillYouBeMyGirlfriend?" She said it as one sentence but I could clearly make out the question. My heart pounded against my chest, and I felt my mouth go incredibly dry. I knew the answer it was a no brainer but my lips betrayed my brain, not moving when they should have and I was almost sure I was about to miss my chance but still. My pesky almost-numb-from-kissing-so-quickly lips would not budge. "I'm sorry I should have never asked. Just, I mean, I guess I was reading the signs wrong and I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. We're still friends right?" Spencer babbled and now of all times my lips decide to move forming the word I wish I had said twenty seconds ago.

"Yes." I watched the blond as her eyes saddened and her entire frame slumped slightly, but she plastered a fake smile on her face. She didn't want to be just friends and I didn't want to be just friends. But I was too late, I felt like it was a pointless act to take back my word, she would think I was crazy if I did. She might get angry at me for sending mixed messages, or what if she had changed her mind? I mean I know that she likes me but is it even worth trying after I had already said we were just friends? Breaking the awkwardness Spencer turns to me with a half-hearted smile. "You know, I could go home if you wanted, you know, make this less awkward." Spencer offered.

"No," I said too quickly. I wanted to explain it, but I just didn't know how. "Spence, I want you here, I just, when I said yes, it was like,"

"You don't have to explain it Ash, I get it." Spencer said walking up in line, detaching herself from me completely.

"No I do, see it was like, a delayed reaction. I mean, god I sound stupid." I trailed off. "I said yes. I meant yes to the girlfriend thing. Spencer I would love to be your girlfriend. It just took me awhile to get it out." I rambled. I watched the true Spencer Carlin Smile shine bright and saw her eyes light up brightly.

"Wait, really?" She asked. I just smiled and nodded adding in a peck on the lips. "Yes," I reply, intertwining our fingers. "really." She bit her lip and then curled into me again. I swear I was the happiest girl alive at that second.


End file.
